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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    332
    I think what people are trying to say, or what I was trying to say anyway is that many of us had the same fears about what pregnancy would do to our bodies when we were the same age as you are now. Eventually, though the desire to have a child overode those fears and that this is what happens to most women. If it doesn't happen to you then maybe having a biological child isn't for you. It isn't something you should do just to please someone else.

  2. #23
    Yes, there are definite changes to the body. Everyone is different though. My advice is to not gain more then 25 pounds, try to stick around 20. Its hard to lose the weight after you have put it on. If your actually contemplating surrogacy for the vein reason of keeping your body in tact, well, my thought is that your too selfish to even have a child. If you want to adopt, I think its great and totally respect that, but using surrogacy because your vein about your looks, seems wrong. Surrogacy is meant for couples who cant concieve.

  3. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,169
    Quote Originally Posted by yellow View Post
    If you don't feel 100% about doing the pregnancy thing, don't. There's no going back.

    I say this as someone who sees pregnancy as beautiful and childbirth as empowering, for the record. I've always looked forward to pregnancy as a possibility for my future, but have yet to go through it myself. Even so, I am all for encouraging people not to reproduce if their heart is not in it.

    Adoption is a beautiful thing in its own right. Just do what's right for you.


    P.S. It's pretty difficult to make the arguments that you're making without coming across as having 'issues,' body or otherwise. If you don't, great -- you don't have to justify that to strangers on the internet. Just know that what you're saying does come across that way, even and perhaps especially with the defensive explanations you're giving.

    You can use our good friend google to research potential body changes, but no one can tell you with any kind of certainty what would happen to YOU. Even if you fully nailed down your family history, it would still be a crap shoot. Would you look back with regret if you gave birth and then found it created some sort of lasting negative change? It's not worth the risk for someone with your mindset. Just adopt and call it a day.
    Thanks. I was just getting a little defensive since I think people misread what I was saying.... I also really just want to hear other peoples experiences. I never intended to get targeted and told I was selfish and stuff. I just want to know the possibilities because everyone is different. I'm on other forums as well, sadly this one has been the rudest, but maybe I worded something wrong? Not sure... I did get some info though. Hopefully more people will be willing to tell me what happened to them instead of pointing out that I'm not ready for kids.

    I've done google, but again I just wanted to hear from real life experiences Sometimes information is fishy like the bone breaking thing, which apparently I have discovered does happen, but it's more often bruising and fractures, the bone actually breaking is not as common. It's still scary and is on my negatives list of giving birth.

    I would love to adopt and I know I won't regret it, but a relationship is about compromise and my fiance' really wants "one of our own", so I'm trying to open minded and am starting to consider it, it's not that I don't want a kid, I do, it's just the pregnancy part I don't want. I don't want the sickness, aches, pains, mood swings. I guess apparently that's considered wrong on here.....
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  4. #27
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by pixiewoo View Post
    Yes, there are definite changes to the body. Everyone is different though. My advice is to not gain more then 25 pounds, try to stick around 20. Its hard to lose the weight after you have put it on. If your actually contemplating surrogacy for the vein reason of keeping your body in tact, well, my thought is that your too selfish to even have a child. If you want to adopt, I think its great and totally respect that, but using surrogacy because your vein about your looks, seems wrong. Surrogacy is meant for couples who cant concieve.
    Surrogacy is only an option because my fiance' wants "one of our own" which I personally don't understand. I think adopting a child would still make her or him part of our family. Blood doesn't make you family. I know it's a "man" thing though so that's why surrogacy is an option.
    Our Cats:
    Calcifer & Mittzy

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    Favorite Names
    Elsa ~ Flora ~ Luna ~ Euphemia ~ Caroline ~ Artemis
    Ezra ~ Severus ~ Llewellyn ~ Rory ~ Liam ~ Preston

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  5. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    USA
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    1,629
    Quote Originally Posted by catloverd View Post
    I'm just trying to find out how bad the body changes are and then as to whether or not I feel they are worth. I'm against birth control pills and plastic surgery because they "damage" the body.
    You are aware that if you do use a surrogate, you're going to have to undergo hormone therapy, right? Including using the pill to regulate your cycle. They can't just harvest eggs out of you straight away. It's a process that takes months, which is why it's really only used by people who can't actually get pregnant or carry a pregnancy full term.
    Last edited by pansy; August 20th, 2012 at 10:06 PM.

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