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August 20th, 2012 08:26 PM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
Pro-choice has ZERO relation to a woman not wanting to "sacrifice" her body. Everything you wrote points to selfishness, which is OK, you are allowed to be selfish, its just not an ideal environment to bring a child into. You said so yourself how judgmental your mother is towards you, would you want to put another person through that? Many men, if give then chance would take some of the burden of carrying a child from their wife. Honestly, if I was adopted or birthed by a surrogate because my mother didn't want to have to put a bit of work into getting the baby weight off, I'd be ashamed and completely heartbroken.
Your body issue isn't that you DON'T think you look good, it is that you do and have such a fear of how your body will change. That is normal, we've all been there at your age (although perhaps less extreme). The news flash though is that by the end of your 20's your body will begin to change regardless. That's life. If you're willing to drop over tens of thousands on surrogacy why not just spend less than that on plastic surgery after the child and make healthy choices while pregnant. Sweetie (and your friends), you clearly aren't in the mental capacity to consider having children yet so just ENJOY your youth while you still have it, enjoy your partner and all the awesome things you can do and don't worry about having children because clearly it is not the time yet.
Last edited by tinabina; August 20th, 2012 at 08:29 PM.Mama to Arden Skye (02/2013)
August 20th, 2012 08:36 PM #13
Also it is not the "fatness" of the pregnancy that totally bothers me, it's people seeing me that way. What bothers me more is the fact my boobs might get bigger and I'll have bladder control issues. It is not the same as growing older. I also know the vagina will never be the same and that is DUE to pregnancy not aging, so the aging arguement is invalid in my opinion.
It's not just the "baby weight" I'm not stupid. I know it can be worked off, but that's not the only body change. I'm sure my child would be fine no matter how we got it. It would be ours and I would love him or her no matter what. I just don't believe that sacrificing my body and taking on bladder issues (which I already have a weak bladder), a wrecked vagina, and big boobs has to be involved. But that is my opinion. You are free to have yours, but I strongly think it's wrong to force your opinions on others.
Most men will jump to it because they know they don't have to deal with it. That is invalid as well. They are biased because they can't have them so of course they can "think" they'd be willing to, but the reality is they are biased because they can't and the truth is many just say that so you don't feel bad about it. My fiance' claims he would do it, but he knows he is biased and that's why he's not forcing it on me.
Also, I asked for experiences because I am still thinking about it. I have not made a decision yet.
Also plastic surgery? Are you serious? That is way worse in my opinion than having a baby.
Last edited by catloverd; August 20th, 2012 at 08:43 PM.
August 20th, 2012 08:43 PM #15
Pregnancy is beautiful. If you want to feel your body at its fullest empowerment, the "changes" are worth it. It's not like a cancer, you are creating life, and a woman is at her strongest in pregnancy and delivery.Mama to Judah David, born November 2012 <3
Alexia Mae, Biblical Baby Name Guru
August 20th, 2012 08:53 PM #17
Also does anyone know anything about ribs breaking? My friend said it's common. I was wondering if anyone had that problem as well or knew what the odds were? I've been on other forums and have read more scary stories about how they can't do anything until after the birth.... so you're stuck with rib pain which does not appeal to me at all.
August 20th, 2012 09:17 PM #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- New England
Too young to have children, but as an x-ray tech I can tell you about broken ribs. It is ranked the absolute worst bone to break. Surgery is usually not an option and the pain is unbearable in many cases. The only thing you can do is stay on bed rest for a very long time. I'm not sure how common it is to fracture your ribs during pregnancy (though it seems very possible), but you can break your rib from just sneezing or coughing. Usually, if one rib is broken another one is broken as well. Some of my patients that came in with fractured ribs were still able to walk, so that is reassuring that the damage might not be that bad.