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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011

    Thoughts on the plot and characters

    Conflict: Vera Tandova has to side with the enemy to save her brother, Dimitri, from the Crimean War

    Rising action
    1. Vera receives word of the death of two of her brothers, Ivan and Alexander runs away from St. Petersburg to the front lines to try and find the third brother, Dimitri, and bring him home
    2. Vera stumbles across a camp of young British deserters Conall, who was a footman for a wealthy family in London, Malcolm, A firey Scottish farm boy, Rhys, a slightly snobbish wealthy London boy and Bianca, a young nurse who ran from the field when her brother died under her watch.
    3. Bianca convinces the boys to go back to the front lines to find Dmitri with Vera

    Climax: They find Dimitri at the Battle of Malakoff

    Falling Action
    1. Vera & Bianca run out on to field dressed as British nurses to find Dimitri and find him wounded and are confronted by Russian soldiers for trying to move him. They start shooting at the girls and Conall, Malcolm & Rhys protect them long enough to get Dimitri to hospital.
    2. The try to take them to Bianca’s old field hospital, run by Florence Nightingale, but are refused because Dimitri’s Russian uniform. They wander the field looking for another hospital to take Dimitri and now the three boys as well. They find it in a Jamaican nurse named Mary. She save Dimitri, Conall & Rhys, but loses Malcolm.
    3. They all realize that as soon as the boys recover they’ll be put on the front lines again and start searching for a way to get back to either London or St. Petersburg. They find their escape in Dr. Watson a military doctor who was seriously injured in the battle and is being sent back to London, he agrees to sneak them out and back to London.

    Resolution: At first they all stay with Watson, but as soon as the war’s over Rhys goes home and Watson gets Bianca at the Fitzroy, a hospital and medical school. Conall was fired from his position as a footman for deserting. Feeling they’ve overstayed their welcome Vera and Dimitri go back to St. Petersburg. At Watson’s urging Conall follows them and confesses his love for Vera.

    St. Petersburg
    Forrest near the frontlines
    Mary Seacole’s hospital

    War between two former allies

    Vera Nikolaevna Tandova - Brunette, Green eyes - 16
    Conall Edward Madigan – Dark brown hair, blue eyes-17
    Bianca Alice Warren – Blonde, grey eyes-17
    Malcolm Donald McLeodGinger, brown eyes-18 “Mac
    Rhys William Alexander Johnson - Brunette, brown eyes-18 “Monkey”
    Dmitri Nikolaevich Tandov - Brunette, brown eyes – 18 “Dima
    John Hamish Watson – Blonde, blue eyes – 29 “Doctor

    Thoughts on the plot and characters and their names?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    This sounds great. You have everything outlined well. I don't see any problem with the names of the characters. They fit well and all sound unique. Good job.
    Have a Nice Day

    I don't have any children, but I write like crazy and am always looking for names for characters. I think I'm a half decent story teller, a mediocre writer, but horrible at picking names.

    Favorites: Ainsley, Everly, Shay, Bryce, Michaela, Bree, Susannah, Jensen, Damien, Anson, James, Dalton, Sawyer, Alaric

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    United States
    This is really interesting. I would want to read it! I think you've got a lot of the details or Russian naming cultures down (It was confusing for me at first, but now I've got it.) and the English characters don't have dull names that I see (Mary, Elizabeth, Betsy, ect.) they have a unique flavor too them. The plot is good too, I like that it appeals to ones emotions, but doesn't get soap-operay. I'd love to know if Vera and Conall end up together!

    Top Girls: Under Construction

    Top Boys: Under Construction

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Do you know about Wattpad?? Your could publish it on there!! I WANT TO READ IT!!

    Jude, blackbird.

    Teddy * Alma * Marian * Frances * Amra * Donovan

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    I don't think I've done enough writing to publish it anywhere yet, I'm still researching and I've just started writing, but I probably will when it's ready.

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