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July 20th, 2012 01:49 AM #1Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
Did you change or keep your last name when you got married?
I've been considering this issue lately and was wondering what you all chose to do/ think you will do.
Did you (or do you intend to) adopt your partner's last name after marriage, keep your maiden name or hyphenate the two? In the case of the latter two, what last name did you give (or will you give) your children?Yvette ~ Lover of namesDreaming of a baby one day!
Felix, August, JasperBeatrix, Iris, Eleanor*Lists still in construction*
July 20th, 2012 02:56 AM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- somewhere in Europe
I kept mine. Hyphenation wasn't really much of an option for my husband and I because our two monosyllabic surnames sound/look completely silly together.
Even if our names had "worked" better, though, I doubt that hyphenation would have been a serious option for us. Two of my good friends (one male, one female) both bore hyphenated last names as kids, and as adults both of them dropped one name; knowing this really makes me think twice about the long-term feasibility of keeping hyphenated names around as families grow up.
We're currently expecting for the first time (twins!), and they'll get my husband's surname for simplicity's sake. We haven't decided yet if my surname will make an appearance as a middle (or second middle) or not--it will depend on issues like length, flow, etc. once we settle on first names.
July 20th, 2012 04:05 AM #5
I decided to take my husband's name, for several reasons. First of all, simplicity. It's just easier for me to have one last name, especially since I work with kids. Secondly, I didn't like the way it looked or sounded hyphenated.
Next, I really like the idea of the family unit all having one name. The X's. Mr. X, brother X, sister X, and Mrs. W-X.... that just didn't sit well with me. I like the idea of cohesiveness that having one family name can bring - although I don't judge or care what other girls choose to do.
I truly believe a rose by any other name is still a rose. I wasn't so rooted in my maiden name that I couldn't change it. It didn't define me as a person. I still have the same childhood experiences and family regardless of what my name is. I had no professional obligations tying me to my maiden name, (for instance, like an author or actor might have.) My family was not so important or prominent that I felt I would have some sort of advantage by keeping my maiden name.
I feel that hyphenation is a deeply personal choice that the modern woman in today's society needs to make. I also feel that we should respect that woman's choice, no matter what it is. I don't mind when I see other women with hyphenated names... although I must confess sometimes I'm not sure what to call them. For example, we had another teacher at my building with a hyphenated name. It was long and cumbersome, and sounded a little silly when the kids said it in full. But that's what she preferred, so I tried to respect that. I did just end up calling her by her first name - so ended my dilemma! Lol. I've known of other women with hyphens that just go by the first last name, or just by the last last name (hope that makes sense.) So I guess we've come to the point where we should just ask the person what they prefer - and hopefully they aren't offended!
Great thread!Raphael David
~Expecting our little cabbage February 2014~
July 20th, 2012 04:17 AM #7
I'm not married, but right now I wouldn't change my last name if I married. The reason; it's my only link that I have to my brother who passed away. I may hyphenate my name though.a name nerd lovin' the classics
samantha; an old fashioned girl in a modern world
george; henry; edward; joseph;eliza; beatrice; helena; alice; adelaide; eleanor; rosalie; alexandra
July 20th, 2012 05:13 AM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
Not married yet, but I would keep my name. That's who I am... my SO would not change his name either.
An additional reason is that our work/publications so far are written using our family names. It would be annoying to change.
We have given our daughter my last name. We had to pick one, and mine was simply a bit easier.
I do understand the desire to have one family name. But for me, that's not that important.