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  1. #6
    Thank you all! Truly appreciate your feedback.
    Of course this has been discussed this with family and close friends but sometimes it's helpful to get an outsiders opinion.
    Last edited by ashleymaeve; February 4th, 2013 at 04:42 PM.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    897
    Quote Originally Posted by stripedsocks View Post
    I would make it a 2nd middle name. His name being for example Birth'FN Birth'MN Smith, and your family being Jones, change it to Birth'FN, Birth'MN Smith Jones. I wouldn't mash or hyphenate it. That way it doesn't sever or erase his connection to his dead bio-mother but he is manifestly part of your family.
    I second this opinion - keep the bio-mum's last name but move it to the middle name spot and give him your last name.
    Leo Sebastian l Ronan Alexander

    current loves
    Felix l Finn l Moss l Heath l Fern l Veda l Tui l Blythe


  3. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    677
    Hi! I have 4 adopted siblings (I am the only biological one). My twin brothers were adopted at the age of 3 months, and my parents changed their names completely. They were given up by teen parents at birth, so I'm not even sure if the names they until they were adopted were given by the biological parents. My sister was 6 when she was adopted into our family. She had a fn/mn/ln. My parents wanted her to feel like she was a part of our family, so the kept her fn, gave her a mn after my mom, kept her last name another mn, and was given our family name as her last.

    I think the suggestion of adding your last name onto his, while keeping his last name as a second middle name is ideal. He will still always have that part of him, and grow up to know that you respected that enough to keep that name for him.

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    1,277
    Quote Originally Posted by stripedsocks View Post
    I would make it a 2nd middle name. His name being for example Birth'FN Birth'MN Smith, and your family being Jones, change it to Birth'FN, Birth'MN Smith Jones. I wouldn't mash or hyphenate it. That way it doesn't sever or erase his connection to his dead bio-mother but he is manifestly part of your family.

    Just my opinion. I have my mom's maiden name as my middle name.
    I agree with this. The child definitely needs to have his parent's surname. I hated that my mother's last name was different from mine growing up (my father died, mom remarried, stepdad never adopted us).

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,823
    I think it would be confusing to have a child with a different last name. Also, he will think of YOU as his parents. Maybe just put his bio-mom's last name in for his middle name?
    Anastasia, Tessa, Marina, Stella
    Connor, Rhett, Corbin, Grayson

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