Are nicknames necessary?

[essjay]

I get a lot of people shorten my name to Soph, even though I always introduce myself as Sophie. It doesn't really bother me at all.

I agree with a previous poster about not having to like all the potential nicknames as long as you like a few, especially with the long, what I call 'frilly' names. Francesca might be a mouthful for small children, but if your sister's kids know they can call your daughter Chesca when they're playing with her, you know you're going to get her being called Chesca, which is your preference, rather than Frankie which you find too boyish. If you establish the nickname young, you're not going to end up with one you hate by the time they reach school age and their peers nickname them for them.

[stripedsocks]

@txbelle, yeah, I don't get why people do it, but they do. Seems even worse for boys. I've seen a number of guys say directly even as grown men "hi my name is [full name]..." and get back a chipper "Hi [nickname]!" Like, you just met the guy.

Then there are the people who nickname nicknames. My husband introduces himself as Ben. He REALLY doesn't like "Benno."

There are tons of names I love that really have no natural nicknames: [...] Isaac

Not to pick on you but this made me laugh - I think almost all the American Isaacs I know are Ikes or Izzys, and all the Aussie Isaacs are Zac/Zack/Zachs. In fact the only issue with it on our list is I my husband will want to call an Isaac, Zac, and I find that slightly blood-curdling, lol.

[agirlinred]

No, nicknames are not necessary. Personally I think the nickname obsession among members of this website has crossed the line into ridiculous territory. Discarding a name you love because it doesn't have a cute nickname option? Ridiculous. Giving your child a full name that you never intend to use just so you can call them a certain nickname? Ridiculous. Struggling to find a nickname for a one or two syllable name? Ridiculous.

One recent example I've seen on the boards is Emerson. The poster wanted to find a nickname for Emerson that wasn't Emmy (she was considering it for a boy). Why does Emerson need a nickname? I posed this question and another poster called three syllable names "unwieldy." What?? My name is Emily, a three syllable name, and I have never thought of my name as "unwieldy." What silliness.

[pam]

@stripedsocks, it's really interesting to get your personal perspective on this issue I never thought of it that way, that a familiar nickname could make a difficult, exotic, or hard-to-pronounce name more approachable and friendlier for its bearer. To go back to the original issue, I've said here at times that it bothers me that someone will start with a distinctive name like Emerald and automatically shorten it to something so much more ordinary like Emmy. It feels like they make a bold choice but then immediately back off from it, like, I don't know, covering up a colorful designer blouse with a plain navy blue blazer.

So looking at this nickname issue in terms of advising parents, I feel: Have the courage of your convictions! Choose a name you're not afraid to use in its full form! But from the child's perspective, you made me see, @stripedsocks, how choosing an elaborate name that comes with a built-in familiar nickname can give you the best of both worlds.

[momsheart]

I'm not opposed to nicknames, but I don't think a given name needs one either. I certainly don't limit my options based on nickname potential. Middle names give children options too, if they want to go by something else when they're older.

When we were pregnant with our first, my husband insisted on picking a name that couldn't be easily shortened. His name is Matthew, and he has said multiple times that now as an adult, he wishes his parents would have actually called him Matthew.

Neither of our boys have names with obvious nicknames, and both go by their full name. Personally, if someone has a name with obvious nicknames, or I hear them being called something different, I ask them (or the child's parents) out of respect, what they prefer to be called. I had a coworker once named Debra that went by Deb or Debra, but she requested not to be called Debbie. Some people do get aggravated when they're called a name they don't like, and I don't want to be the offender! ;-)

[starophie]

I can't imagine naming a child something without nn potential. My (legal) name is Sophia, and my parents always intended to call me Sophie, which is what I go by. It turned out that I HATE (loathe, despise, abhor) the name Sophia, and am grateful to have a name option that I do love! If I gave one of my children a name like Jack or Paige, I would feel awful if they didn't love that name as much as I did and then had no other choice on what to go by. That's why a name like Margaret is amazing to me - I have a dear friend who does just go by Margaret, but if she wanted, she could go by Peg/Peggy, Meg, Maggie, Daisy, Greta, or Marge! I call her Peg, MarMar, and Margie, and if she ever decided she didn't feel like a Margaret, she would have options!

I believe nicknames ARE necessary, because I never want a child of mine to feel like they're named incorrectly. Identity crises happen too often to kids, without their names being another albatross around their neck!

[saraallison]

My name is Sara, and I never had a real nn. My aunt called me Sarabelle, which I loved but no one else called me that. Sadie always seemed like a huge stretch to me. My BFF sometimes called me Essa, at my request, but I knew it was kind of silly. Anyway, I love Sara and always have, so I didn't feel the need for a real nn. My DH is Andrew and his mom frequently corrected ppl who called him Andy, and she won. He is def Andrew, not Andy. No one calls him that. Our son is Seth, a name we both loved, and it also appealed bc like Sara, IMO, there are no real nns for Seth. Our DD...now her name was tricky, and she's only 5 mos so we will see what happens. I have always loved the name Madeline, but we almost didn't use it bc I didnt want the nn Maddy. However, we decided to go with it. So far, the first thing ppl have asked me, including DH's parents, is "Will you call her Maddy?" I answer that no, we will call her by her full name, Madeline. People seem fine with this, but you can tell, they are slightly disappointed, or give you a slightly weird look. I have no idea why they do this, but I did anticipate it at least, so I'm not surprised or anything. Even with a name like Elizabeth, which I love, and I love so many of the nns, I still don't think I could bring myself to shorten such a beautiful name, except for occasionally.

[blairx]

They're not always necessary and I like plenty of names that have no traditional nicknames (or none apart from generic nicknames that could work for many names). Plus, I usually prefer the full forms. Sometimes I love a full name but find the nickname unappealing - Archie, Randy, Reggie, etc.

However, they add versatility to a name and give people who don't like their full names options. An Elizabeth Millicent Doe who hated her name(s) would have an easier time coming up with suitable alternatives throughout her life than a Ceres Demeter Doe (provided neither wants to legally change her name). Of course, the more generic names like Cece, Bebe, Dede and Kiki can often work in situations like this.

And some names with few or no traditional nicknames lend themselves to nickname creation more than others. That's why I don't like certain short names as full names - for instance, Zoe (Zo isn't much of a nickname, and what else is there? Zizi?).

[johannaheartsnames]

I know what you mean. I intend to call my children what I name them, if I wanted to call them by a short name I'd name them that. But, my favorite names for each gender have nicknames that I do like. I couldn't have a favorite name that had a nickname I didn't like. Like, my favorite girl name is Francesca, and I love the nickname Fran/Franny. Even though I wouldn't call her that most of the time, having the option is best for the child if they decide they don't like their name and there's always going to be those people who insist on giving them a nickname. I kind of rambled here, sorry!

[claireelise]

I'm not big into nicknames - I love having a name that can't be shortened or nicknamed. Some of the names on my list have nicknames that I love, or at least could tolerate. Others, I dread being nicknamed, and might not even use them for that reason (example: I adore Edwin, but DESPISE "Ed" - and it's fairly unavoidable that someone would call him "Ed"....or......"Eddie"...shudder...). I also like Adelaide, but dislike Addy, and Josephine, but HATE "Josie".

However, I find all of Elizabeth's nicknames charming (except Liz/Lizzy), and if I named a future son Callum, I might just call him Cal! And then there's Maisie and Maggie - two nicknames I find irresistible, but cannot for the life of me find a long-form I love enough to use.