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December 8th, 2012 09:55 AM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
Working as a pre-school/daycare teacher in the U.S., most of these kids are here 40+ hours a week. The only time they see parents are dinner, bed, the next morning and weekends. I have 3 year olds who have ipad's and ds's. They don't know what patience is or what earning rewards are. I emphasize all these things and manners in my class. So yes, spoiled and not disciplined and wayyy to much stuffI'm Alix Louise
Wife to Skyler James since 4/28/12
Mommy to Daphne Valora since 8/02/13
When we have another
Boy : Sebastian, Jasper, Edgar
Girls: Sonia, Matilda
December 8th, 2012 01:51 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I think a lot of American kids are spoiled & have major entitlement issues, but I've seen the same in Eastern Europe so I think it's worldwide.
I am in Brooklyn and I think parents here tend to try attachment parenting, often work from home and have nannies for their kids or send them to fancy Montessori type pre schools. I often find myself thinking that the women at mom groups really seem to have it all and probably put a lot of pressure on themselves. I also feel a weird competitive tension in the air...like over which kid gets a certain swing or whatever. Which kid is reaching which milestone.
One lament I hear a lot is that they feel their nannies really get the best moments with their kids. Like playing in the park while they take care of necessities at home...I really have to bite my tongue! I mean first off it's work to them and secondly hire an assistant or cleaning person instead of a nanny! Problem solved right? I guess money doesn't come with brains!
December 8th, 2012 02:17 PM #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- London, England
What I find interesting is the mothers who don't work and still have nannies. In Norway it's normal to send your child to nursery/kindergarden or some kind of daycare from the child is one, as almost all women go back to work around that time. Hardly anyone has nannies. In England it's normal to have nannies even though mum stays at home, and the kids go to nursery/school. So all mummy has to do is kiss goodbye before school, and kiss goodnight before bedtime. And the money people spend on nurseries is insane!
I find it weird that people let their children rule their lives, that everything revolves around them. everything is ready made for them, the kids never need to think and figure things out themselves. That's very much the style as far as I can see in London anyway, and that creates spoiled little children. In continental Europe and Scandinavia it's much less fuss around the kids, the children eat at the table with their parents, they do what the parents want to do (go to museums for example, or go shopping with the parents, etc), they're allowed to be bored, and thus get creative.My darling Marian Illyria Aphrodite, March 2013 & Little Bunny (a girl!) due 9th of February 2014
December 8th, 2012 02:41 PM #17
I grew up in the "Deep South" (east coast US) and I now live in the Pacific Northwest (opposite coast US). The difference between the kids I knew growing up and the kids I know now is fairly astonishing. Oregon is much more of a farming state, and my in-laws run a farm, as do most of the people in their rural community. The skill set and work ethic of the kids is lightyears ahead of the kids I grew up with, who all had huge allowances and over-the-top birthday parties, all the junk food they could eat, and toys and unappreciated technology coming out their ears. My family wasn't like that because we weren't in the same place financially, and there were always subtle competitions and superiority/inferiority complexes going on between us and the entitled kids, especially at school.
Kids here are expected to work with their parents on the farm, pull their weight, earn the things they want in life, give everything they do 110%, demonstrate genuine respect for people (especially elders and authority), be independent and self-sufficient, and create their own fun and toys. Most of the moms work from home or forgo career positions altogether to stay at home, work the farm, and homeschool the kids. The emphasis is on values and family and honest hard work. Sometimes I think it goes too far, to the point that my husband actually doesn't get as much respect as his farmer and policeman cousins because he's a web developer, and doesn't have a hard labor job. But at the same time, I hope to be able impart that maturity and work ethic to my kids, and avoid the materialistic narcissism that the kids I grew up with displayed.Zion Nathaniel ~ Solomon Fable ~ Balthazar Wolf ~ Malachi Sparrow nn Kai ~ Tobias Rowan ~ Caspian _____
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December 8th, 2012 04:32 PM #19
I can't say much about parenting in my area now, since I'm pregnant with my first and my friends mostly just have infants and/or are likely to think similarly to me if we're friends in the first place. I can comment on parenting styles from when I was a child. I grew up and still live in the Southern U.S. (North Carolina). In high school sociology, the teacher asked who was spanked growing up and my friend and I were the only two out of the 30 or so person class that weren't regularly spanked. I grew up afraid of disappointing my mom, not because I'd get switched but because it felt good when I knew she was proud of me. I don't think I was spoiled, in fact, my mom was very frugal, teaching me to bargain-shop and putting limits on how much she'd spend on Christmas/birthdays, and that rubbed off on me. I honestly have no idea what a 6-year-old needs an ipad for.
Oh, and someone said something about people surrounding themselves with like-minded parents. I wanted to add that in some areas, there could be pockets of different styles. Like in NC, I think the bigger cities, like the Triangle area, would probably be very different from the country areas. Chapel Hill is known for having kind of a crunchy vibe, while other parts of the state, not even that far away, are more redneck-y. It wouldn't surprise me if people who lived all the rest of their lives differently parented differently as well.