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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    163

    Parenting styles in your country/area?

    Hi everyone,

    I was reading an article at the New Yorker about how American children are often spoiled and can be non helpful. I feel like Americans often do everything around their children (where they live, car, vacation, plan their day). I also think American kids just have too much stuff! As a teacher, I have also seen the other extreme -- parents who simply don't care. If you are American, I was wondering if you find this is the case in your city/state?

    If you are in another country, how do you find the parenting style in your country? Is it relax (supposedly like the French in the new book Bringing Up Bebe?) or is more success/authoritarian driven(like the Chinese mother in the Tiger Mother book)?

    Curious to see everyone's thoughts on this one...

    Here is the article if anyone was interested...
    http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critic..._books_kolbert
    Last edited by geauxtee; June 29th, 2012 at 02:09 AM.

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    895
    As a person who works with children in the US, I can confidently say that the biggest problem American children often seem to have is ENTITLEMENT! (Of course, this is true of many adults as well.) Entitlement runs rampant in virtually every socio-economic status and ethnic background I've been exposed to, (and I've worked with inner-city, suburban, rural, and army base children.) Not only do so many of our children have too much, but they are often not taught how to appreciate any of it.

    As with anything, there are always exceptions to the rule and not every child fits into this stereotype. But my experience has led me to believe entitlement is a major concern with American children and families at this time.
    One Beloved Son - Raphael David
    Saved for Later:
    Rosemary, Susannah, Loretta, Georgia, Theodora
    Viggo, Thaddeus, Woodrow, Laszlo

  3. #5
    ^ I completely agree. I also think that children lack manners. Many parents are really busy, so no one teaches kids things that are important when interacting with others like manners, common courtesy and respect. Of course, many kids in America are spoiled. They get whatever they want, therefor they think that they DESERVE whatever they want. There's nothing wrong with getting your children things they want, as long as the child is grateful!
    Roman Evander.
    Anja Eloise.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    2,031
    Where I am in the US, I find that a lot of parents are actually quite distant, wrapped up in their own social lives and careers (which by all means, they should have, but sometimes the kids seem to come last). Some parents almost seem to substitute extravagant amounts of stuff (toys, clothes, amazing bedrooms and birthday parties) for having a real parent-child relationship. A lot of parents work long hours and commute to the city so kids are either in daycare for long hours, I know one little girl who gets dropped off at daycare at 6 am and picked up around 9 pm on an average day. Even when one parent is home, many are raised primarily by a nanny or au pair.

    I really want to read Bringing up Bebe. Theres an older book "Perfect Madness" by Judith Warner that I loved. The premise is what happens when women who have worked to "get ahead" in their careers become mothers and go into it with the same competitive gusto. (And you get crazed competitions over whose Hello Kitty birthday party was the best and mothers driving themselves crazy in the pursuit of perfection).

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    582
    I'm in New Zealand.
    I think parents tend to surround themselves with like-minded parents, so what everyone thinks is their local "style" is probably just a sub-section of it.
    My parenting style and those of most of the parents I know is not at all like either "Bringing up Bebe" (self-centered, detached parents) or Tiger Mom (abusive!). Smacking is illegal here and most parents are proponents of gentle discipline anyway. I practise a mix of attachment parenting and RIE ideas. I believe compassion, empathy and respect are taught by example. If you hit your child and punish them, they will learn to disrespect others. Treat them kindly and they will treat others the same. Pretty simple really.

    What else do I believe in... lots of unstructured play, limited toys and toys made from natural materials, not pushing gender roles on children, babywearing, breastfeeding, letting your kid make their way through life at their own pace.
    Mother to miss Mila Arden and her brand new brother, Cato Bennett

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