Tell me about labor.

[alzora]

My husband and I might start trying to conceive our first in August or September, so I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the prospect of pregnancy and labor. I've heard that labor can feel like either really bad menstrual cramps (which I could handle), or like really bad diarrhea cramps (which I've only had once, and it was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life). I'm terrified of it feeling like the intestinal diarrhea cramps that accompany food poisoning or viruses. I'll take the epidural, but how much does that help? Will I still suffer for hours? I know, I sound like a wimp! I just want to know what I'm signing up for.

[tinabina]

Um... pretty sure it's worse than BOTH of those combined lol. If that was it no one would need pain meds!

[crunchymama]

I can't really accurately tell you how it feels. Everyone handles the pain differently and everyone has a different labor experience. The baby's position and your comfort level (with your surroundings-- are you in a sterile hospital where people are treating you like a number, are you in a hospital or birth center that is more homey/cozy, are you in your own home with people you want around you to support you) can have alot to do with it too.

The best advice is to not worry about the unknown at this point. Do research about different options of how/where you can give birth. Talk to friends, coworkers, or people from a social group/church, etc. to find out where they gave birth-- in places where you have multiple hospitals, there is often one "winner" that everyone seems to love to birth at. Also, research pain options...whether you definitely want to go that route or you just want to know your options for when you get into it... it's important to know the benefits/risks ahead of time. Also, research different relaxation and birthing techniques- Lamaze is popular, Bradley Method is great (love that one), hypnobirthing is very interesting. You can take classes in all of these. You might want a water birth. you might want a homebirth. Is there a birth center nearby? Educate yourself. Don't think of childbirth only in terms of the pain. It's an empowering experience and you have the opportunity to have the type of birth you want to have. I am not saying it will be pain free (even with an epidural), but being comfortable with your birth choices is a great feeling. Also, it's always great to focus on that end result when in labor. Each contraction (I prefer to call them "surges") brings the baby one step closer to your arms. Lastly, your body was designed to give birth...don't fight it. I feel the most pain when I fight it and don't feel comfortable with what is happening. For me to personally feel comfortable in a birthing situation, I have had to educate myself on the birth process...focusing on the "natural" side of it....meaning, this is what my body is made to do.

[zaelia]

I am not someone who deals well with pain at all. I actually have a track record of passing out, so when it came to the idea of childbirth (well, childbirths in my case as it was twins) I was petrified. I've heard labor is vastly different for everyone, but a few things in my experience are worth mentioning.

First, it was not comfortable by any means, but the pain was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. (As a side note, I was in very uncomfortable early labor for about a month so part of my reaction could have been the relief of those symptoms as well.) My husband says that during labor there were a few moments where I told him I couldn't do it (and I'm sure I said that) but even just afterward I remember thinking something along the lines of "OK. I made it. That was intense and painful but not impossible." I had anticipated getting a walking epidural, but when the time came I didn't end up wanting it.

I went into labor in the early morning hours (around 3 am) and was incredibly hungry during labor. I typically ate a few times during the night in the final weeks of my pregnancy but it wasn't enough for my 9 hours of labor. I was not allowed any solid foods (due to the worry that it might cause complications if I had to have an emergency c-section and be under anesthesia) but I did have an intern in the room who must have brought me a mug of soup about 8 times!

Also, I have to reiterate the 'your body knows what it is doing' message. That was sort of my mantra during the last weeks as I was so nervous, but its truth was immediately apparent once I was in active labor. The absolute last thing I wanted to be doing was lying down. My body was screaming to be upright. I knew instinctively when to push.

It definitely helped my nerves to read about what what was coming. I think I felt more in control and prepared. The book I read was The Doula Guide to Birth by Rachel Zimmerman and Ananda Lowe, and I highly recommend it. While I didn't use a doula (and had never planned to) I felt it offered a clear description of what changes your body undergoes as well as outlining various different options for dealing with the pain.

Of course it is scary and you can't help but thinking about it, but my advice would be to try to hold off stressing about the pain until your second or third trimester. Then try to focus your stress into learning about your options for the delivery. Good luck!

[mrstrivette]

It's different for every woman & every pregnancy is different & every labor & delivery is different. Just be prepared for ANYTHING to happen! That's the best way to prepare yourself! :-)

My 1st girl I had severe morning sickness, was induced for signs of preclampsia & only had 2hrs of pushing. I thought it was rather easy & was ready to start TTC #2 when the first was a year old.

My 2nd, a boy, we finally got after 3yrs of trying. Morning sickness was better but I was miserable the whole dang time! Had twice the normal amount of amniotic fluid & so my belly got very large! I put myself on bedrest just 'cause it was hard to be comfortable anywhere else. Which kinda sucked for my girl, she ended up watching a lot of tv or just chilling in the bed with me. Had a scheduled induction but labor started on it's own. Very bad back labor! Water didn't break on it's own. Got stuck dilating with "just a rim" & used all my energy trying push for finishing the dilation! Ended up with vacuum extraction which also meant a catheter...OUCH!!!!!!!!

I never had an epidural but did have pain meds in the IV which didn't do squat for me the second time.

This one, my #3 & 2nd girl...had severe morning sickness again but got an anti-nausea med that really helped. I've been able to be more active this time than last time. But, since my abs are like jello from my boy, nothing is being held in or up so my uterus is flopped down over my pubic bone & I will have to start out on my back during labor to allow the baby to be pushed down into the pelvis for delivery. Crossing my fingers that I won't need a C-section, but I'm not gonna let this one keep cooking past July 13th so am planning on a scheduled induction again while HOPING for baby to come sooner on it's own! I have abt 17 days 'til my due date. I don't wanna be preggo for 17 more days! Esp in this heat!

Good luck OP!

[marymom]

I met a woman at my last childbirth class who was terrified of labor pain. Her OB suggested the natural childbirth class so she could learn more alternative methods of pain management since feeling nothing is impossible. She ended up with a C-section due to some complications, but was certainly empowered by the class. She just had her 2nd via an UNMEDICATED VBAC! I was impressed. She hired a doula the second time a round which she said was critical. She felt really in control right up until she was on her way to the hospital. At that point she was ready for an epidural, but her labor was so far along that she delivered 15 min after arriving at the hospital - no time for pain meds. She said that she probably wouldn't do delivery again without pain meds. But knowledge is certainly power. She labored for hours without meds.

[jwalling]

As previous posters have said, it is different with every labor and every woman. My own experience, giving birth to my daughter, was great. I ended up getting an epidural because I was very fearful of the pain of childbirth--I watched my mom give birth to my sister when I was six years old, and while my mom loved the experience of having the whole family there together, it affected me very negatively to see her go through the pain of natural childbirth. I had been afraid of labor ever since, and actually the option of an epidural was the only thing that convinced me to have children at all.

About a week before I gave birth (my daughter was more than three weeks early) a friend said to me, offhand, "Just get the epidural early, then you can sit back and enjoy the experience," and that comment really stuck with me. Enjoy it--really?! But she was right. After I got the epidural I actually *went to sleep* and slept through the entire labor completely comfortably. They woke me up about 12 hours before they'd predicted I'd need to push and said, "So sorry to wake you, we just need to check you," and it turned out I was ready to push right then! 18 minutes (about six pushes) later, my baby was in my arms.

Again, this is all personal, but for me, the epidural was great--I didn't feel any pain at all, but was totally aware of my body--I was able to walk to the bathroom when I needed to, and I could feel enough to push effectively. For me, in my particular situation, I think I would have been too fearful to go through it without the epidural (especially since I had labor induced because of complications), although I do admire women like my mom who choose the natural option.

Just for context, I am more of a natural-type person in other ways--my daughter was cloth-diapered and breastfed until age 2, and I hang with a crowd of moms who don't necessarily approve of medical intervention or giving birth in a hospital at all. For me, hospital birth with pain meds was the best way to go, though.

[mrstrivette]

Oh my jwalling!! I have a 6yr old girl & would NEVER consider her watching the birth of this one! Other than medical staff, the only person I allow in the room when it's time is hubby. I could totally understand why you were traumatized!

[leylas.mommy]

My first labor was not the best experience. I am pregnant now with my 2nd and planning for a totally different experience!

With my first, I was planning on having an epidural bc I was scared of the pain. My mother had 3 and with the last one was not allowed an epidural bc her labor was too advanced - and of course she has always told us the horror of it all. So I just expected to have an epidural. I was induced a few days before my due date because of high blood pressure at 1 appointment (but no other signs of preeclampsia). I didn't fight it bc my mom was in town and I wanted the baby to be born while she was there! However I was 0% effaced and not dilated at all. I had not felt the baby drop either. So as you can imagine my baby was not ready - I went through 12 hours of labor to end up with a c-section for fetal distress. I had an epidural but it had to be done twice and did not kick in until i was at 9 cm!! and 10 minutes later I was in the OR.

I felt very cheated - and I had a hard time breastfeeding bc of the section. Thinking about it afterwards, also, the pain was bad, but it wasn't unbearable. Each contraction peaks and then gradually disappears; in between contractions you should have time to catch your breath (I did NOT, my contractions were overlapping bc of the induction - my advice is to AVOID INDUCTION AT ALL COSTS!). Knowing that I made it to 9 cm but did not get to push my baby out made me mad. For this next one I am planning a VBAC and no epidural - I know my body can handle it so I don't feel like it's necessary. I am going to refuse induction unless it is absolutely medically necessary, of course, as I know that will give me a better chance of a successful VBAC and probably somewhat weaker contractions. I am actually excited to get another chance! I think it's important to know that millions of women have labored and given birth, and our bodies know how to do this. Just educate yourself and go in determined to do it - and you will!

To marymom, sounds like your friend did exactly what I am planning to do! It's great to hear success stories, it is very encouraging!

[tina91]

I had a homebirth with my first, and am aiming for the same thing this time too.

I have a high tolerance for pain, but there were times when I was ready to give in because of the pain. You need to listen your body. I found for me that trying different positions was VERY helpful. I actually vomitted twice while I was in labour which my miodwife assured me was normal.