Hey babylove! Sounds like little Jem is doing great! I hope he's feeling better after your concerns prior to his last doctor visit, and hopefully you're feeling better too :) It looks like you've got plenty of good advice to sort through here and find what works for you. For me, it was a combination of crib and bed sharing until DD moved to her big girl bed around 2 years old, and it will probably be different for DS. I will just add this, as you try to figure out when to work on which things. From everything I've seen from credible breastfeeding resources, those overnight feedings and the hormonal and physical stimulation they provide can be vital to a mother's supply, especially if you have longer term breastfeeding goals. Your supply doesn't regulate to a more mechanical "supply and demand" until somewhere around 12 weeks, and is more hormonally driven up until that point. After that, some babies will need to eat overnight, and some will settle with minimal fussing. It's also extremely common for a baby to go weeks or months sleeping through the night, and then go through a regression for days/weeks/months. Also, this. While Blade is a doctor who is also a mom of young children, and has obviously educated herself on current medical information regarding pediatrics... my personal experience with pediatricians has been varied. I would take sleep and other life advice from any pediatrician with a big old grain of salt, especially if it's been a while since they attended medical school. My first pediatrician told us to turn the car seat around at 1 year old/25 lbs, so she was obviously giving advice on a non medical topic that she hadn't bothered to keep up with. Keep following your instincts and questioning when something doesn't sound right (as you already are!), and you'll be fine!
Thanks again for all the responses! Just a quick check-in. Our routine has sort of gone out the window over the weekend and, man, I can tell that both Jem and I much preferred having even a loose routine! So it is back to trying to institute a routine again tomorrow! I can't wait until it is more consistent!
Jems sleep has been alright. Some nights he feeds only once or twice, other nights up to 4 times- exhausting! I'm hoping once we have a more regular daytime schedule, it will make night time easier on all of us.
Quick question. I really don't like the idea of 'crying it out', at any age, after reading into it. But I've read up on routines and I've seen quite a few sources say that it is best to put baby down while he/she is still awake. Let them fuss a bit, or cry. Go in and pat them on the back, tell then you love them and they are ok, and leave. And that it is ok for then to cry/fuss for up to 10 mins. What do you all think about this? I was thinking of calling my pediatrician to ask- I really don't trust much of what I read anymore. It seems everyone disagrees on every parenting technique, so it is up to each individual parent! I much prefer getting advice from other moms first hand! I just am not sure if Jem, at five weeks, is old enough to put down while still awake and try to let him work it out. Maybe it depends on the baby? Just curious what you all think! Part of me says there is no harm in seeing what happens if I try! But it just kills me to hear him whine/fuss/cry!
I personally don't believe in crying it out - what you're referring to is controlled crying, the Ferber method, and I definitely think 5 weeks is too young for that (they recommend waiting til 6 months!)
However - there is a HUGE difference between crying or whining and fussing a bit. It may take a little while to recognize this, especially with a newborn.
I've been using the techniques in the book The Sleep Lady for four days now, and my daughter has made a HUGE improvement. She's now waking once or twice as opposed to 5 times, falling asleep faster, and even putting herself back to sleep after fussing for a few minutes (if its more than probably 5 minutes of she's really upset and not just whining a bit I help her back to sleep). We've also managed to transition from bed sharing to her crib, 100%.
As Jem is so small, I would just try to get him to fall asleep in his place, but if he gets upset, pick him up to soothe him. After a few times, he should fall asleep when you put him down (it's fine if you pat him or give him a soother once he's down). It's tempting when you're a tired new mom to just rock him to sleep so you can get sleep, but unless you want to be rocking him (or feeding him) to sleep multiple times a night for the next year, don't give in!!
Also, encourage frequent feedings in the day time, so he gets enough calories and isn't as hungry at night!
I agree with leadmythoughts. The sources you're reading are likely discussing older infants. A month-old baby is going to be much harder to soothe by any means other than holding & rocking him. The good news is that they fall asleep so quickly at that age, rather like flicking a switch. And like she said, there is a very big difference between screaming-crying and whimpering/fussing/grunting. I'm more than fine with the latter for my own kids, but for a young baby I think the screaming-crying is very hard to listen to as a mother, and usually they fall asleep out of pure exhaustion.
Personally I think the best way to get them used to their crib/bassinet is by letting them wake up in it, rather than falling asleep in it. Unless they're really yowling with hunger, I let them play, coo, fuss, whatever for 5-10 min when they wake up. They get used to it and see it as a safe, normal space.
Just keep at it. I'm glad you saw early results-- keep doing the same for a while before you conclude it didn't work.
Thanks blade and leadmythoughts! I've found that putting Jem down a while before he falls asleep doesn't require him crying anyways! Today he did fabulously with me putting him down groggy and falling asleep on his own! Yay!
I've had less luck with getting him on the routine I wish him to be on! I am trying to get him on a three hour eat/wake/sleep cycle during the day where he wakes up, eats, has some play time, sleeps, and wakes up again in time for his next meal at 3 hours. Instead he ate, played, and then at the hour and a half mark of being awake he started to seem sleepy, but he ended up staying awake a full three hours! So instead the schedule today was wake, eat, playtime, eat, sleep and then repeat. So he was awake three hours, slept three hours. Ugh this kid is giving me a run for my money! So he went to sleep at 5:30. Not sure weather to wake him now (7) so that we can keep bedtime routine the same time, or let him sleep until 8:30 and then not fall asleep for the night until 11:30? Hmmm.....