Thank y'all for your input and suggestions. Hearing outside opinions I would have to agree, it's not worth it. Sometimes you can subconsciously treat someone a certain way because they remind you of someone and I am sure that name could do the same and I wouldn't want that for my DD.
I am going to run the following names by my DH:
Campbell (just afraid of being made fun of, due to Campbell Soup), but I do like it.
I would love to use Camryn but my DH BF son is named Cameron and I had Camdyn picked out for a girl when I had my son but one of my close friends used it for her new little girl because we weren't planning on having a 4th. Ugh!
I know girls with each of these names and none of them ha e ever had a problem with teasing. Collins is my favorite and I think it sounds great with Carson and Charleigh.
Originally Posted by msbrabon
Have you thought about changing the spelling to Cote?
Wow, this is harsh. I disagree completely. The child maybe hers but she will also be part of an extended family. The sister-in-laws reaction is quite understandable and I'm sure you wouldn't be to happy if one of your grandchildren/close nephews was shared a name with a person that caused you a lot of pain and emotional damage. I think its quite disrespectful to use a name that has such bad connotations within the family, especially since it's a name with no strong significance to the parents other than "we like it".
Originally Posted by augusta_lee
I second the suggestions of Coby and Cady.
Colby, Cory, Carey, Casey, Cecily, Clarity, Clary, Clemency, Coralie, Claudie, Connie, Cordelie.
I like Colbie for you, like Colbie Caillat. Also, I don't think Campbell would be a problem. I taught a little girl named Campbell once and it was never an issue.
I, too, was prepared to tell you to name your daughter whatever you choose. Given the circumstances, though, I have to side with your SIL. My ex cheated on me with someone whose name is my DD's middle. Even after five years, I'd give nearly anything to change my own daughter's name.
The first name that came to mind was Colbie. I think it's much more modern than Cody, and just as friendly to boys as girls. Other suggestions would be...
Cyd (as in Charisse)
I am usually all for ignoring family reactions on names - but it seems that they have a legitimate reason to dislike the name. That is a pretty negative association that I wouldn't want family members tying to my baby if I were in your shoes.
Colby and Cady are fantastic ideas. Chandler is cute too. I heard a dad call for a little girl Chandler in a store once, and I thought she was adorable.
If you have your heart set on it, use it! Have a sit-down with your SIL and tell her that you understand why she may object to the name but you are going to use it. This is the exact reason I NEVER tell anyone my name choices until after the fact, I hate it when someone tarnishes a name that I love. If you want to try something alternative, however, you could look at Carter, Clayton, Connie, Colby or Chris...