Being the old soul that I am (even though I am young), I wonder about this. I swear I was born in the wrong era- I love the 40's and 50's! I watch the dick van dyke show, leave it to beaver, and I dream of what it must have been like to be a housewife back then, not having to worry about your kids going outside by themselves, cooking all day (I love cooking) and having a spotless home!
I read things and hear stories of young moms from that time and it so wasnt looked down upon! You got married young, had kids young, and that was expected! My grandma had her oldest at 16, and still to this day brags about how wonderful it was to have her so young.
Nowadays, it is the exact opposite! Women are expected to go to college, get a big degree in something, or at least find SOMETHING to do between the gap of 18 and 25 (at the minimum) to occupy their time before having a family. It seems the trend is that women are usually in their late twenties or thirties by the time they have their first.
Don't get me wrong, there is so nothing wrong with that! I just don't understand why young moms get such a bad rep now, like they ruined their whole life! I got married practically the minute I could, and I have never been happier! Then again, I am an old soul. A lot of young ones today make stupid decisions jut because they're young and can. I was never that sort. Since I was a little girl, I even put stock into what cartoon I wanted to watch or what snack to eat. Always thought things out. But still I get questioned and looked down on for marrying so young. Now it's been a year since marriage and naturally I can not wait to have kids! Granted I would like to get a few things settled financially first, but if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I would be extatic! The sad thing is, I know many would not be extatic for us, and I would get even more questioning looks and nasty comments.
Anyhow, enough of my rambling. Is anyone in this same boat here? I don't mean in the 'whoops I got pregnant young on accident and now I have to get married' boat. I mean the 'I CHOSE to take this route' boat? Only nice comments please :)
My now husband and I met when we were 4, we didn't know each other well but ended up going to the same high school. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 15. Now I think about it seems a little crazy that we were so young that neither of us ever dated anyone else. Anyway! We go engaged just before my 18th birthday and got married when I was 19 and he was 20. We had our first baby when we were 21, our second when we were 22 and are having our 3rd now at 24!
Lots of people judge us for having children young, that we are "wasting our lives" but I feel like I wasn't really living until I had my children. Yes I had to put my degree on hold but I know I will go back. I'm young enough that my children will all be in school before I'm 30 and I can work then.
I love being a young mum and I might even get to be a Grandma before I'm 50, haha!
I'm a young mom, had my first at 23. It wasn't a planned pregnancy, and even though my daughter's not even 2 weeks old yet, I'm REALLY, REALLY glad I had a baby this young. Not just because of how great my daughter is, but for lots of reasons:
1 - I had a really easy labor, delivery, and recovery. Three days after she was born I was sitting on the floor holding her and something else and jumped right up hands free and thought about how I probably wouldn't be able to do that at age 30.
2 - She's the first granddaughter on both sides - not just for her grandparents, but out of all of our cousins, etc. Everyone was SO incredibly excited about her. I know all the future babies in the family will be loved and celebrated just as much, but it was really nice to be the ones to give our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc...their first grandbaby.
3 - I know I won't have any problems whatsoever keeping up with an active toddler, child, even teenager. I know moms in their 30s often stay active and keep up with their kids, but probably not to the extent younger moms do.
4 - This might not be correct, but I think I'll have an easier time relating to my child as they grow up than I would have if I had been older. I don't think this holds true for everyone who has a child young, but personally I think it will be the case for me.
5 - I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I was a wild teenager/into my 20s, I did and saw a lot, and even though I did have one or two things on my pre-baby-bucket-list that weren't complete, I really don't feel like I'm losing out on my freedom or anything by having a child.
6 - There's a higher chance I'll be around longer/healthier for more of her life/get to enjoy more time with potential grandkids or if she doesn't have children, I'll be able to enjoy spending time with her and having an adult relationship with her
I don't have any kids yet, but I would love to be a young mom. We were 20 & 21 when we got married, and have been married almost a year now. I would be thrilled if we got pregnant tomorrow... But it's unfortunately not really an option right now due to finances and our house situation. That, and my husband isn't really ready yet.... The plan is to start in a few years and be done before I'm 30 (hoping to have 4 kids).
I have nothing against women who decide to have a career first, and have kids later on... But that's just not how I want to do things. Having a family is my top priority, and I'll ideally be a stay at home mom until the kids are in school.
Im not quite as YOUNG as you BUT I have encountered the same thing..
We have been together since I was 20 and he was 23... lived together since shortly after we met... Married when I was 23 and baby at 24...
AGAIN like I said not THAT young.. but most moms with kids my sons age are about 32-40 years old!
I can't imagine waiting that long! I knew what I wanted... I did not go to university ( although I do have some "certificates" through community colleges) I never saw that point as I Knew I wanted to be a STAY AT HOME mom!
I get asked if i miss being single or if i wished I had waited to get married and the answer is NO... I dont regret any of it! Its what I always wanted!
Biology is on your side, even if culture is askew. The point of feminism is that women are supposed to be able to make their own choices. I commend you on yours!
I'm 24 and I wish I had a baby right now! I'm in a serious relationship but we're not ready for marriage or babies yet, having said that, if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I'd be thrilled! Being a wife and a mom is definitely what I want the most in my life.
As a mom I can assure to that there is nothing people seem to enjoy more than judging a mother or panicking about the welfare of a child. I think that if you have a baby at 18 someone will say something about your wasted youth & if you have a baby at 40 someone will whisper something about the high risks involved. Even if you have a baby at the oh-so-perfect late 20's period like I did, some old lady will comment about how cold she is or how over heated she is in her outfit!
Now that I'm 30 I will say that I am in great physical shape and have no worries about carrying baby #2. I hear a lot of noise from young moms about being able to keep up with a toddler or having an easier pregnancy and recovery. I will say this; I know plenty of girls in their early 20's in awful shape, with bad diets & various ailments. I know plenty of moms having kids after 40 who are young at heart, vibrant & energetic. It's all about how you take care of yourself & what you eat & how you live.
It's normal to romanticize the past, but we all know that plenty of those young moms in the 40's were wishing they could've done more with their creative energy than darn a sock.
If you don't quite have your finances straight, if education isn't for you, if you don't care to travel, if you're an old soul & a domestic type, maybe you could use these pre-baby years to start a small home-based business or lifestyle blog (or both!) that involve your love of home & family. You could lay the foundation for a way to make some extra money while caring for your future babies down the line.
I was going to comment, but then I read this, which sums up my thoughts exactly!
Originally Posted by taz
I don't really understand the comments that women in their 30s have a harder time keeping up with children than women in their 20s. When you get to your 30s, you'll understand! 30 is still very young and I can tell you I'm very fit (in fact, fitter than I was at 20)! Maybe women in their 40s or 50s would have a harder time, but not women in their 30s.
We're very lucky to live in a time when we can choose to be whoever we want to be. If you want to get married and have children young, you can. If you want to go to university, travel, work, etc, you can do that, too. However, someone will always criticise your choices, no matter your age! I'm 29 and my mother-in-law has already told me I'll be an "old" mum. Personally, I think I'm the perfect age, but of course she grew up in the 1950s and had her first baby at 20.
As the previous poster said, we all romanticise the past, but many women back then would've given anything to have had the opportunities young women have today.
Originally Posted by rkrd