No, definitely not too late to reconsider. With our last little one, I decided, on a whim, to name the "bump" Quigley. And the entire family loved it. People on BOTH SIDES told me I should put it on the birth certificate. I kid you not. I mean it was cute as a bump name, but for real? We tried soooo hard to think of a different Q name so we could keep Quigley as the nn, and DH blabbed the name we were thinking -- at Thanksgiving dinner. I hadn't finished thinking it over and I felt soooo rushed into being stuck with that name. I was only maybe 5 months pregnant at the time, but I totally get where you're coming from. Anyway, I had to work up the nerve to tell him I really didn't want that name, because he really did want it. We had to go back to the drawing board completely to find a different name we both liked -- no just going to MY favorite name.
Even though I think it's a great idea to pick two or three names you like and decide when you meet him, because of my own experience I'm pretty sure DH would have held on to that Q name to the bitter end. But in all honesty, I might have done the same with my favorite and then we would have been at an impasse at the hospital! Maybe it would be better to take Thomas off the table -- as well as your Edmund and Gareth -- and then come up with one or two different choices. Your whole list is very classic so you'll not go wrong with any.
Alternatively, you could consider using a first name/middle name combinations with your favorites -- Thomas Edmund, maybe? Encourage nn Ted, a combination of the first and middle?
That said, Thomas Russell is a fine, upstanding name. Your whole list is very nice. If you truly can't stand Tommy as a nn, I think that's a good reason to reconsider the name, because it's very likely he'll be called Tommy or Tom at some point. But I think you could say goodbye to Gareth too, because Gareth Russell with that TH and then R can be a bit tricky. But maybe you two would like Garret instead?
Good luck, I know it can be hard hashing it out but it's worthwhile to come to a solution both of you like.
I started second guessing my son's name AFTER he was born. For me, it was just the gravity of the responsibility of 1 name sticking with a person for the rest of his life.
Now I can't imagine my 3 year-old being anyone other than my Elijah Myles. :)
I do not think it is to late at all. People change their child's name even after they are born because they feel the name does not fit them. Maybe you should come up with two combos and once you meet him you can see which feels right...just a thought to maybe ease the problem. I think it is also about compromise as well. You should both love the name not be swayed one way or another.
I feel Thomas is definitely traditional and strong. He may get the nickname Tommy later in life. So if you have a problem with that nickname that may turn you off to the name.
I really like Arthur, Samuel and Edmund from your list.
Thomas is a dignified, classic name, and certainly not over-used. If you want a rarity of a nickname that's still easy with a long historical precedent, why not Thos? Or Thijs, a Dutch Thomas diminutive pronounced 'tyce?'
You shouldn't feel bullied into a name, of course, and neither should your husband. if you're at loggerheads then perhaps star over from scratch, as other posters wisely suggested.
Oh you must feel free to change his belly name! Goodness my parents called me Little Heinrich all through the pregnancy and for a girl they considered Pepita! Urr, go ahead choose a great name you love.