Educated mothers as SAHM
These days, getting a college education is becoming more the norm, and even expected, for both males and females. The idea is to go to a good school to get a good career, etc. One would assume that a college diploma would be cause enough for a women to get a good career rather than staying home not making any money, right?
I know most people have very strong opinions about being either a stay-at-home-mom or a career mom but does it have to be so black and white? I'm in college and my major is something that would lead me to a single career, something that probably wouldn't be too difficult to find a job either. I recently started talking to my boyfriend about my desires to be a SAHM when we have children, and he wasn't sure about the idea. He thought that after all the money I spent on school, I should put my degree to good use. It wasn't about the money to him; he just didn't see the point in all that schooling if I wasn't going to use it. He sees nothing wrong with being a SAHM, since his own mother was one, but he doesn't see how I can have it both ways.
I explained that college for me was partially just for self-betterment. It was something I wanted. Along with that, if he were ever not able to take care of me, I needed a way to take care of myself. And just because I wanted to be a stay at home mom in the beginning didn't mean I would never have a career. If everything goes as planned and I have kids in my mid-twenties, I could still start a career in my mid-thirties when they are a little older. I would still be young. It's just a lot easier to be in college now before kids than regretting it and going back later.
Just curious, how does everyone else feel about these things?
To be honest, if you'd asked me 5 years ago, I would have said no way to being a SAHM. I paid damn good money for that degree, and I'm going to use it. Not to mention, I just finished paying it off.
Now that the possibility of having children in the near future is upon me, I think I could leave my job in a heartbeat if we could afford it. I love teaching. I love it. But I would give it up to raise my babies.
A SAHM (or SAHDs) probably won't be a SAHM forever. Babies grow into toddlers, who grow into children and enter school. At that point, I imagine many SAHMs would want to start working again at that point. And a degree helps with that. So I guess I feel the same as you do.
I want a career, but I also want to stay home for the first few months of my child's life.
Interesting to hear from this point of view. I'm going to school to be a teacher too, and it's something I am very excited about doing in the future, but I also think in a way, it would be a waste for me to pay for day care to spend the day with other people's kids instead of my own. I can make decent money as a substitute or having some sort of part-time teaching job and waitressing at night.
Originally Posted by dindlee
Like I said, I absolutely see nothing wrong with being a working mother, but I see no reason for me to have to choice between college and raising my kids myself.
Thanks for your input!
I'm getting my masters degree right now and I don't have kids yet. I've definitely thought about being a SAHM even though I've spent so much time and money on my education. I would love to spend the early years at home with my future little ones. However, I don't know if we would be able to do that financially. I live in a very expensive state so it would be difficult to only have one income. I don't believe that people have to necessarily use their degree. Many of my friends only found jobs in areas that had nothing to do with their education.
I do think that starting a career later would be just as difficult as going back to school later. Depending on your field, there will be technological advancements and new information/knowledge. I think it would be difficult to start a new career in most fields 10 years after finishing school. It really depends what your degree is in though.
I'm expecting my first while finishing up my undergrad degree, and hoping to go to graduate school, and I wouldn't be against being a SAHM at some point in the future. A degree's only value isn't the job opportunities it brings, not only can it help with self-betterment, you can use your education and networking in various volunteer work or social projects, as well as the fact that it will make you better able to teach your children about the world, be an example to them, and learn more about any number of things that will impact them, such as psychology, sociology, local or global issues they might face, and also how to better run a household.
When I got married I was half way through a masters in nursing to be an NP. I got pregnant shortly after we got married and I have stayed at home since. I am in the camp that firmly believes that mothers should be at home with their children and I would never consider going back to work and trying to juggle everything unless something terrible happened to my husband and it was literally the only way to put food on the table. We are blessed that my husband makes a good income to support us, but even if he made far less money we would just live differently as we both feel stongly that children need their mother at home to care for them. When I was in nursing school, working and then in the masters program I always felt like I was just killing time until I could get married and be a SAHM. For whatever it's worth though, I never liked my job very much.
I always wanted to get an education AND have children. I never planned on getting married so young (21) or having kids so early (22) but it was still important to me that I graduate. I was lucky enough that both me and my husband had enough scholarships and Pell Grants (and savings from before the baby) that we graduated completely debt free (just barely) and that my husband got a great job straight out of college (age 23). I made the decision to be a SAHM because that was what I really wanted and because I knew that my husbands salary would be sufficient (to live off of and save for retirement) if we lived modestly. I tentatively plan to be having children for the next 10 years (I'll take them one at a time) and I will consider working when my youngest is in school full-time, but I don't think my degree will be worth anything at that time. I expect I will either have to go back to school or take a different direction. For me, getting the diploma was about completing a goal and "self-betterment" as has been noted in PPs. I also think it is responsible to get a degree that will help you support yourself/family should something (divorce, death) happen. That is something that I didn't do and I would have to rely heavily on family while I worked things out.
I'm starting graduate school in the fall. I would like to be a SAHM someday, finances permitting. My dream is to adopt kids with special needs, and I would love to be able to give them all my energy and attention. But in this job market, who knows?
My parents pushed us to pursue college degrees and while I am glad they did because it's pretty much necessary these days, I don't think I will be doing a whole lot with it. I am just finishing up my bachelor's degree (already had my graduation but still 3 more weeks to go!) and I am really thinking I want to be a SAHM. I have a job now and I've been working since I was in high school but I have learned I really don't like working for people. I suppose I could work on my own by starting my own business or working from home, but I think I would be much happier as a SAHM. I am fine doing housework and it would allow me to home school my future kids (because public education is looking worse and worse and we probably couldn't afford private school). I could work to my own schedule. I really think I would be much happier. I hate working with the public, too, and between grocery store, boarding facility, and animal shelter that's pretty much what I've done the past 6 years. Hate, hate, hate it. My degree will probably just serve as backup, but it's definitely a benefit even with searching for lower wage part time jobs, so I really am glad to have it. I'm sure it will even be beneficial for homeschooling my kids if that's what I do, because I will know what colleges are looking for as far as their expectations of their students. I started my degree in zoology so I've experienced college in science and in humanities.