For some reason this made me giggle. Finding out the gender is considered anti-feminist to some? That's weird.
Originally Posted by blade
Like some previous posters mentioned about themselves, I HATE SURPRISES. Oh my gosh, just TELL ME WHAT IT IS. (And in response to someone's curiosity, I am an introvert as well.)
Unless it's Christmas. But that's different. That's Christmas.
But a baby? If I didn't know the gender I'd spend nine months referring to it as, well, It! Or Baby. Or Kid. Or something to that effect (which would certainly have more comedic value than 'he' or 'she,' but...). I don't like gender-neutral names so that wouldn't work. I'd go CRAZY not knowing. I'd get fidgety and frustrated and GRR.
However, I have no intention of telling anyone else (besides husband/boyfriend/father/person, which I don't have), and ESPECIALLY not telling them names. This child is MINE, you can't name it!
*Also not pregnant/TTC/allthatjazz
Blade: oops on schrodinger - didn't quite intend for that to sound morbid.
I agree with your argument, though. People/society are going to attempt to foisted stereotypical gender norms on your child regardless - in utero as much as outside - but the extent to which you as a parent go along with that is individual, and doesn't depend on knowing the biological sex in advance.
As far as the gender roles thing - it's not really for the sake of the baby, it's for my own personal sanity. Although it's less than I assume it would be if I knew the gender, I've already gotten comments from family such as "I need to know if I should be buying footballs or dolls" and "if it's a boy, will he be playing sports?" etc. This is something my child will have to deal with either way after they arrive in this world, and it won't make a spot of difference to them whether or not people have these ideas about them before they are born, but it annoys me and isn't something I want to hear for an extra 5 months before they arrive.
I love the idea of waiting and being surprised. And I'd also like that people would probably just give me gift cards instead of clothes because that way I could pick stuff I like. And I already prefer neutral colors so a nursery wouldn't even be that difficult to put together. And I'd get to play around with even more names because I'd have to have two lists. And some boy stuff looks freakishly adorable on baby girls (I keep seeing a dark blue onesie with green and orange fishes printed on it. I swear every store has this onesie and I know it's for boys but it would look adorable on a girl) so I could buy a few gender neutrals, a few boy clothes, and call it good.
My only problem would be the anticipation; I'm not generally known for patiently awaiting surprises.
When people ask if I know what I'm having, I always say that I know for sure it's either a boy or a girl. While I don't want to know the sex before the birth, I always ask the doctor to make sure that it's either one or the other!
To the poster who said "in this day and age, why wait 20 weeks to find out in 20 more weeks?" : While the world at large seems to be hooked into a mindset of instant gratification, I think there is a beauty in letting certain hidden things remain hidden until they are naturally revealed. We let time take its course, and find out at the birth. It's such a nice feeling to know that as much as people can ask, advise, or know about my pregnancy, they can never know that one hidden gem - whether it's a boy or a girl. Once baby is born, it's our special piece of news to know first, revel in our new baby, and then share our news with the world when we're ready.
I have plenty of friends who do find out, and I respect their choices, but it's not something we would choose to do.