Not pregnant, no babies, not even TTC yet, but we've talked about it and decided to wait when (if) the time comes. We'll see if we can hold out. We both like the idea of being surprised right there with a new baby to see, but gosh I am not good at waiting. We once opened all our Christmas gifts early because I was going nuts wondering what was in the boxes. Not sure how I'll do with a baby!! I have to admit, the biggest motivator for me holding out is I get to come up with that many more names while pregnant. I'd like to go in with 5 for each gender.
As for pressing gender roles on an unborn child, well I've certainly heard that argument but it doesn't apply to us. Our boys and girls will be creative and ride bikes and love animals and play instruments and read books and climb trees and be bilingual and wear any color they like. The nursery will be fairy tale themed, regardless of gender. Castles, forests, fairies, fauns, and rainbows.
I have one child and I chose to find out his gender. I'll probably start ttc in a year or two and as of now I'm thinking I might try to keep the gender a surprise. With my son I didn't even ever consider not finding out, the thought never crossed my mind because it seems to be expected that you find out these days. I'm not sure though, I'm in the middle of the road on this.
On one hand hearing the doc announce the gender at birth seems exciting.
I still have my son's newborn clothes and my mom still has my three year old sisters newborn clothes so I wouldn't even have to buy anything gendered in order to have a few cute girly or boyish things. I also really like white, yellow, black, grey, brown, green, orange, red clothes more than pink or blue. I like simple clothes on newborns so no ruffles or anything anyway.
On the other hand I can not stand surprises, it has been ages since I've been surprised by something because I avoid it so much. I like to think surprises will be fun . . . until I get super anxious and weird and obsessive about it. I also had names picked out for either gender by 20 weeks and enjoyed referring to my son by name; I know some think it's strange but I cannot imagine just saying baby bean or something like that, it seems impersonal. And seriously, the argument that the name "might not fit" seems silly to me. My son was not going to be born and seem like he had the wrong name, there was no name he was destined for or something like that and his looks and personality have definitely changed since birth. People grow into their names.
I also hate surprises. That's why I want to know when I have children.
Originally Posted by maggiefromcanada
That's really interesting. I am an introvert, so maybe that explains it.
i think this might be the final result for us too, my husband says he's alright with not finding out, but i think he'll want to know :) we'll just see how it goes. I noticed you call your son little bear, that's our nickname for our little guy too :) has been since the day he was born, a 9lb fiesty little thing from the start. :)
Originally Posted by cygnus
Originally Posted by ameliawilliams
oh my goodness, this never occurred to me! When i had my baby shower for my son I (of course) got a TON of clothes.. most of which were okay, but I am very picky. I can't stand the clothing with silly sayings, or disney characters, or anything like that. I like clothes that just look like normal clothes, like adult clothes in baby size. So when i got a bunch of outfits that say " I LOVE GRANDMA" or "PARTY IN MY CRIB".. i was pretty desperate to return them. I just don't like that kind of stuff. Gift cards would be ideal.
I am 32 weeks pregnant and don't know my baby's sex. I am very happy with the decision to wait. At the 20 week ultrasound, I was honestly just jubilant hearing that the anatomy scan showed a "perfect" baby. I will admit that I went through a couple of weeks about 1 month ago where I felt crazy for not knowing if my baby was a boy or girl, but I am back in a place of contentment with the unknown.
I just got back from a very quick trip home, and I had to fly (the very last chance until after the baby is born). I was bombarded by so many strangers at all of the airports asking me questions about the pregnancy. Of course everyone asked if it's a boy or girl, and I got to honestly say, "I don't know". I loved that because, for me, it's none of their business. This is such a special and personal process for me. I don't want to be sharing such personal details with complete strangers. I know that I could know the sex and still withhold the info to strangers, but I love having this one mystery until my baby comes into the world.
As far as the issue with family members buying gifts, that is the weakest possible argument for finding out the sex. I mean, seriously. Sorry to inconvenience the generous gift-givers, but there are PLENTY of necessities that can be purchased that have nothing to do with gender. They can buy the clothing once the baby arrives. When you look at the big picture, if you don't find out the sex at the 20 week ultrasound, you really only have to wait about 20 extra weeks to know if you should be buying for a boy or a girl. It's a blink of an eye in the lifetime of this child.
I honestly think it would be lovely to find out the sex at the birth. That's what I'm planning on doing with all of mine. You could just find out the sex and not tell the family? Just a suggestion.
We had a different situation, b/c we adopted our son. So we didn't know the sex till he was born. But we didn't know we had a baby at all till then, so not knowing the sex seemed very minor. Neither my husband nor I ever cared one way or the other. I do think that if you are going to be disappointed if it is a boy or if it is a girl, then you should find out the sex ahead of time so that you have 20 weeks to get over it. Also, if you are absolutely convinced that you are having a son or a daughter, get the scan. Everyone I've known who was convinced one way or the other has been wrong about this, and then they were disappointed, and that is not how you want to feel holding your new baby.
I was born before ultrasounds were common practice, and my parents were convinced I was a boy. All of my baby things were blue. My folks only had a boy name picked out, so they chose my name off movie credits they saw on the tv at the hospital.
In terms of preparation, it really wasn't a big deal not knowing. We had some very basic baby items and clothes, and it was very easy to find everything in gender-neutral colors. It was also really not a big deal having very little when we brought him home. Babies don't need much in terms of material goods. We figured Target was reasonably close by, and if we desperately needed a specific thing, we could always go get it. But really, the hospital gave us pacifiers and diapers and formula and even hats and blankets. They had this huge bag of hats and things that people knit and donate to the hospital and they kept pulling things out for us. It was wild. Then neighbors, friends, family, and church people showed up with loads of stuff. So most of his things did end up being blue, since they were given after he was born.
If I did know ahead of time, I think I would keep that and the name both secrets. I really look forward to hearing those things when people have new babies. I mean, I love new babies. But it is just much more exciting when you see the new baby and hear the name for the first time. Obviously everyone's goal here should be to make things as fun for me as possible, right?
Navywifelife, aww, hooray for little bear children! We've called him little bear since the beginning too -it doesn't hurt that his middle name is Theodore, our little Teddy bear :). I bet your little bear is precious.
I agree with you about baby clothes. I prefer simple little clothes and I think it is hilarious/adorable when my husband and son end up in similar outfits -jeans, tee/button up, blazer, colorful socks, etc. -though Henry's clothes are a bit more playful -bright red rain boots, green adidas, suspenders/bowties/hats, blazer with elbow patches, and so on.
I have to say, My sister foundout with all 3 of her girls as soon as possible. She named them all before they were born as well. I actually really enjoyed it because I got to make fun monogrammed onesies and my mom did a cross-stitch birth announcement which we were able to give them the day after they were born. It was also great because as soon as her friends found out she was having a girl the first time, the one who had hand-me downs to give away immediately did so (yay free stuff!). I am not sure how I'll feel when I get pregnant.