Hey y'all! So..my sister-in-law's baby shower is coming up soon, and aspects of it sure enough led to a huge discussion about what is appropriate or common in terms of baby showers.
1. Pre or Post-baby? My SIL is having hers before the babies are born..hopefully! (she is having twins, and doctors told her she could go anywhere between June and July..baby shower is planned for late May). This has caused quite the stir in some of her relatives' eyes. They expect to see the little guys there, and some are going as far as saying they hope she goes really early, just so the twins can be at the shower. Which ticks me off to no end, because if the twins did come that early, they would certainly be kept in the hospital..not in their clutches. On the other hand, i can see why they would want the babies present...some of them may not be able to see the twins for quite a long time. Momberries (or others who have attended/thrown baby showers), did you have them before baby was born or after? If after, was baby there?
2. One per mom? this isn't related to SIL, but some family friends, who are welcoming a new baby soon. They said alot of relatives are upset with her, calling her selfish because she is having another shower. This is their third child together, second son. He will be 5 years younger than his next closest sibling. Do you think it's okay for her to have another shower? Or just in certain cases (ex. 1st child with a new partner/large age gap between kids/financial reasons/etc.)?
3. This isn't really a question..but I thought this was so cute! My brother and SIL included little cards in their invitations saying that, if the attendee would like, bro and sis suggest they bring a children's book for the kids and write something on the inside cover to them! I totally love that idea!! I mean, they definitely need other baby supplies, but i just thought it was really sweet :) I may get them a copy of one of my favorite books when i was little :)
1. All the baby showers I've been to have been pre-baby. The shower my mom had for me was post-baby because I was adopted. I was a couple weeks old so it was more of a party to see me and of course bring gifts. A post-baby shower could be a good idea for new parents who have family coming in from out of state to see the new baby. Btw, it irks me too that relatives would wish the babies come early. Early babies are never something to wish for.
2. I don't have children yet, but I would hope to have one for each child. I would feel bad celebrating the birth of only the first child. I don't think receiving baby shower gifts should be seen as greedy. The point is to celebrate a new life. Another shower can be much smaller than the first. Gifts can be children's books and diapers instead of expensive baby gear. And if the baby is of a different sex than the other children, then gifts could be clothes for that gender. I read an article about this subject that called second+ baby showers "sprinkles" instead of showers. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/09/fa...stly.html?_r=0
1. No right or wrong, just a matter of personal preference. With my first I had a traditional baby shower pre-baby. With my second the baby shower was thrown post-baby so that my mom could be there (my sister was able to go to both). This time around my friend's are throwing me a baby shower pre-baby. I personally lean towards having post-baby shower so that the people will get to meet the baby their celebrating but traditional baby showers are fun.
2. Yet again no right or wrong. This being my third I wasn't really expecting any baby showers but I may end up with two. My friend's are throwing me one and my husband's boss is talking about throwing a baby shower for the pregnant ladies at work and myself.
3. Love that idea!!!
1. I've never attended a baby shower after the baby was born. I'd think that was odd. It's traditional to have a baby shower a few weeks or few months before the baby is born. For people who want to see the baby and can't, for whatever reason, visit you personally, what about the christening? I'm (hopefully) having my baby christened in my home town so all my relatives will be able to see him/her. They most likely won't be at the baby shower, which will probably take place in my current town.
2. I'm not sure about one per mum. I've only ever been to baby showers where it's been the woman's first baby. I don't think it's weird to have one for the second child. I didn't know this was controversial!
3. Love the idea of books for baby!
I've only been to baby showers pre-baby. These days, it's common to have them before the baby is born but I know that in the 1950-60's, women didn't have their showers until after the baby was born.
I dislike the idea of a shower for each kid. Personally, I view a baby shower as something for the mother-to-be, not necessarily for the baby. You're buying the parents supplies to help out with a child. For subsequent children, I like the idea of diaper showers. I've been invited to showers for second and third babies but I don't go. I do go to diaper showers though.
I've only been to pre-baby showers. I've never heard of a shower post baby!
I know people may disagree with me, but I think it's tacky to have showers for each kid. For me, showers are to give mom gifts for baby because she's never had one before. She doesn't need another crib/ stroller/ etc. my only exception to this is if there is a large 10+ years between kids. This happened to my friend... She had her first two early in her marriage, and then a little oops. She had given everything away at that point.
I didn't even know people had post-baby showers, but I don't see anything wrong with it. Pre-baby seems to make more sense since you can take all your baby shower goodies and start nesting. It gives you time to get all settled and prepared. But post-baby makes sense if family members can't make several trips and they want to see the little one along with everyone else.
I think multiple showers are strange. But, this is coming from someone who blanched at the thought of having a bridal shower (seriously, isn't a wedding present enough?) Soooo there's that. :)
I've never even heard of a baby shower happening amongst any of my relatives or friends. I don't think they're as common over here in Brit Land. The closest thing my family would get to it is having a party afterwards at the 'family base' to wet the baby's head- so I'd say post-baby. And that'd probably happen after every child because we're a close bunch who love getting together ;) And I love the idea of getting books for the baba! Clothes and such will be useful, but they'll quickly grow out of them. They can keep the special book for life! :)
So as someone that's never been to a baby shower- what exactly happens? Do you just get all your mates together and get given baby-gifts?
C&P; nope we don't do them over here! I've been to one baby shower (one!) and that was one my friends and I threw for one of my dearest girlfriends after her boyfriend told her - when she was seven months pregnant - that he did not want to be a dad and went back to Australia. So she was a 24 year old student all on her own (family's abroad) and we decided to give her everything she needed for the baby. OK, digression. I did not have a baby shower. Neither did my American/Aussie friends who live over here. I (excuse me for saying) find it weird that you ask your friends to buy cribs and buggies and all that stuff. Over here people bring presents when they come to see the baby; clothes, toys, books, cute stuff. My parents bought us a stroller, my boyfriend's parents the car seat.
I don't think it matters if you have the shower before or after the baby's born. I get why some people would wait until the baby is there safe and sound. I think a big shower where you get mama&newborn essentials is a bit weird with the second child, you should have everything you need. But you could have a mini-shower where you get more things like I mentioned earlier. But to each their own!
Yeah that sounds more like it. In my experience, the parents tend to help out beforehand with the bigger/more expensive things (car seats, prams, cots etc) then once the baby's here, all other family and friends may bring little pressies when they first meet him/her. Then they might get a little something again if the baby is christened.
Originally Posted by ottilie
And I agree- I would feel weird throwing a party where people are expected to buy you stuff :/