Lol! These are so funny!
When my youngest sister was 3ish, she thought that all grown men were "Dads". She used to call Cricket (the sport), "Ball-y Dads", since they were all playing with a ball! Our Dad also used to play this shoot 'em up game on the computer, and one day Mum asked her where Dad was, and she replied, "Playing "Daddies fall down"".
I'm sure she came out with many more gems, but that is they main one I can remember right now. Can't wait to see what Leo comes up with as he gets older!
Unfortunately, some of the insults I hear my kids hurl at each other are the funniest. Today Will called James a "rotten banana buttcrack". Not sure if I should be as proud of the creative harshness as I am.
One time, when James was about three and-a-half, he threatened to "harvest you like corn, and grind you into flour!" He was very imaginative and verbal for a three-year-old boy, and I'm pretty sure I remember correctly that this threat was directed at me. It's hard to keep a straight face for disciplinary purposes when this happens.
The other hilarious one was when someone asked James what daddy had used to give him a haircut, and he replied, "a chainsaw". Daddy had been using a chainsaw to cut up a fallen tree in our backyard.
About a month ago, we were flipping through channels and came across the movie Joe Dirt playing on like TNT or TBS. It was already half over and I expected the boys to turn it to cartoons, but they continued to watch it for a bit and though it was funny.
Last week we were at a restaurant, when in the middle of dinner, my three year old starts pointing at a table near us yelling "It's Joe Dirt", "It's Joe Dirt" over and over. I look over to see what he's carrying on about and try not to laugh at what I see, but can't help it. This gentleman at a nearby table looks nothing like Joe Dirt, except for the fact that he has a wicked awesome mullet going on. My husband, older son and I are all cracking up while trying to quiet little man, so that this poor guy doesn't realize what he's calling him or why we're laughing. It was so funny to me that he remembered a movie that he only watched a portion of, recognized a mullet and totally called some random guy out on his poor choice of "Joe Dirt" hairstyle. :)
haha I 'surprised laughed' (sounded like "BAH!") when I read rotten banana buttcrack. Serious fit of the giggles at that one.
When my sister was about three she told us she wanted to be a boy. My mom said but hunny, you're a little girl. My sister replied "I'll just buy a penis at Gabe's". Lol. Gabe's is our local equivalent of TJ Maxx. She's 21 now and very much a girly girl.
Just remembered another line from my sister.
There's a nearby lake which was made by a dam that is known as The Yough Dam. My sister was about 5 and didn't quite understand why we were allowed to say "let's go to the dam" because damn is a bad word. My Aunt explained that sometimes dam isn't bad like when you are talking about the lake. About ten minutes later we're about to leave for the dam and my sister says " I can't find my dam shoes!" My aunt scolded her and my sister grins and says "but I meant my sandals that I wear to the dam." Lol.
That whole summer anytime she was talking about something pertaining to the lake she'd make sure to say dam infront of it. Dam bathing suit, dam towel, dam lunch, dam sunscreen... Etc She knew what she was doing but took full advantage that technically she wasn't wrong.
When my brother was little, he was spending time with my grandparents, and apparently listened to classical music. When my dad came to pick him up, he said very confidently: "Grandma and Grandpa listened to Yo Mamma today." It took my dad a few minutes to calm down and realizing that he was in fact talking about Yo Yo Ma.
Also: when I was about four, I went to work with my Dad. At the time I was fascinated with babies, and I apparently asked one of his coworkers if she was pregnant. She was greatly offended. It's been nearly thirteen years, and she still asks if his youngest daughter is "still pretentious."
At the library a week or so ago, there was a family consisting of a brother, sister, and Mom. The Mom told the boy he had to read to his sister. As I walked past I heard him complain: "After this book can I be freeeeeeee?" I'm still not quite over that.
This isn't my story but it is so cute I feel it should be told. So my husbands best mate, Reed, is a builder and was putting a new kitchen in his house. He was showing his 4 year old the colours and plans for the kitchen and Lincoln puts his hands to his face and shakes his head... within seconds his was crying. Reed then says, "Hey Linc, what's up buddy?" and Lincoln goes "Dad! Why would you do this? You know I don't cope well with change!" And then ran off to his room.
I am a speech pathologist at a hospital and the other day I found this little boy walking the corridors looking very lost. I asked him if he was ok and he said... "Well, I'm looking for Richard and Mark. Mark is my big brother and he is taller than me, with brown hair that is a little bit longer than mine and he has freckles which he doesn't like very much, oh and he is in grade 5. And Richard is my daddy, he is really tall, like the tallest person in the world, and he has my hair but it's a bit grey mum says. He is 48 and a half. And I am Charlie and well I look like this. Please find them for me"
Needless to say I was speechless. We found Richard and Mark and I asked how old Charlie was... the reply was "25 in a # and a half year old body"
Such a cute little boy!
My two year old had pepperoni for the first time the other day and loved it. Now he asks for pizza with 'purple ponies' all the time!
My brother says the most ridiculous things all the time. He's 6. If my mom asks him to eat his dinner, "I can't eat, you sillyhead. It tastes bad and i'm tired of it."
I put on lipstick about a week ago and he says to me, "Woweee Josie, your lips look like pretty roses."