As mcdonak1 mentioned, there are the mix ups. When I was pregnant with my oldest, my boss pulled me aside one day and told me that he truly regretted making his son a junior. There were credit report mix-ups, mail mix-ups, ... despite the fact that they lived in different cities. I appreciated his telling me, despite the fact that we knew we weren't going to make our child a jr, because it was one more data point against it for when we were pressured by family.
My step-father is III, they used the first name for my step-brother but gave him his own middle name so that he did not become IV. He goes by his middle name, always has. My ex-BIL was III, despite he was a lot further down the line than the third generation to carry his name. He and my sister broke tradition, much to his mother's fury. She kept calling my oldest nephew "Little ___" despite repeatedly being corrected by my sister that the baby's name was Robby. Eventually, her MIL got over it.
Thanks, everyone! Another concern is how a second son would feel. I'm definitely all for an original name but I guess it'll be up for debate until crunch time.
My husband has experienced issues with the bank/mail systems and still doesn't see it has a huge problem. I, however, found it to be quite alarming when money was transferred out of his account and into his sisters when his father was the one initiating and authorizing the transaction!
*sigh* I appreciate the input!
Stick with the 5th but give him a nickname that you both like. Your daughter probably would not care but you could give her your initials or even the same initials as her brother. I know a family who did not do the Jr., 1st, 2nd thing but every boy has the same initials as the father. We sort of did that with our oldest we didn't want a Jr. but we did give him my husbands initials and my husbands middle name. Husband is Clinton Blake and my son is Calvin Blake.
I like Charles Joseph, and you have plenty of nickname options. Charlie, Chuck, Chase, Chaz, Caz, Joey, Joe and CJ. I know a boy who is Michael III and he goes by Eddy, a completely unrelated name.
But, it is a personal choice. If you can't stand it, do ______ Charles Joseph LN.
You can never tell about who a kid will feel about their name. If you were a Jamaica in the age of Jennifer and Amy, and if you hated having a name so out there and you name your kid Sophia or Aidan, they may be upset because it is so common. If you were a Jennifer, you might name your kid Alixevette or Magnus to avoid being Jenny C like you, and they may be upset because it is so out there. Same thing with family names. Since Charles Joseph has so many nicknames to make it his own, this shouldn't be a problem for him. If you don't want your daughter to be left out, do ______ FamilyName FamilyName LN.
My best friend comes from a very large family. Her eldest brother is a III, and all the other kids in the family have their own names, some in honor of other family/friends/heroes, and some just names the parents liked. Recently the oldest brother and wife had a son and named him the IV. All of the guys use a variation of the first or middle name to differentiate who is who.
The guys in that family are SO PROUD of sharing the same name as Great-Grandpa. My friend thinks it's silly that there are so many men with the same name, she's glad she doesn't have to pass it on, and she likes her "just because it's pretty" name. One of the sisters who has a "just because it's pretty" name doesn't like it because she's a bit of a name nerd and says the meaning of the names are boring. I don't know how the other brothers in the family feel about the tradition, though because I know them I would say the second brother is the kind of guy who might have wanted to pass along a name but his wife wouldn't have given the tradition the time of day; and the third son himself probably wouldn't care to pass on a name.
Anyway, I do agree that it seems to be a very personal choice. Part of me agrees with my friend that it's silly to have so many guys in the family with the same name, but on the other hand it's obvious how those guys are just so proud of sharing a name. It would be sad to take that away from them.
With my own husband, he wanted to use his dad's name as a middle for our son. I thought it was a terrible name and said no. When we had our third son last year and DH still desperately wanted to use Dad's name in the middle, I relented. Even that was after MUCH deliberation and feet-dragging. Finally I saw that DH sees it as an honor to give his son the same name as his dad, whom he really admires.
Yeah, I still think it's an awful name, but after seeing how special it is to my husband, I actually wish that I would have "gotten it" how important it was, and used the name back when we had our first son. I definitely would do some serious listening if your husband is very excited about passing on a family name.
Best wishes on your naming journey!