@violetindigo, I know exactly where you're coming from. I have the same problems with my sister in law. She got pregnant after we had been trying for 6 or 7 months the first time. They've never had any problems with fertility, and now they're expecting their third baby. They got pregnant 1-2 weeks after we announced to family that we're finally pregnant again. I know they didn't do it maliciously, but the crazy, jealous side of me thinks, "Really, you couldn't let me have this?" I know it's crazy, and I am happy for them. I also am mad at myself for this attitude, but I'm working on it. Something I learned my first year of TTC has helped my attitude a lot this time. Another person being pregnant, be it stranger or friend, is not what is keeping me from getting pregnant. They are going to be pregnant and happy regardless of how I feel about them. This time around, I've been genuinely happy for expectant mothers. Family can be tough though. Maybe it all goes back to sibling rivalry. I hope you are feeling better soon! Again, I know how you're feeling, and no, you aren't a terrible person for having that reaction. It's something everyone goes through at some point for different reasons.
So sorry @roseymaam. Good luck and baby dust for April!
@violetindigo I had a similar reaction when my sister in law announced that she was pregnant with her third a few weeks ago. Thank goodness she told me via text message, because I instantly burst into tears...I'm still a bit ashamed about acting that way, but I've gotten over the initial jealousy. Now I'm happily discussing names with her; she is a really wonderful person and I'm very happy for her. I think it's important to focus on the positive. Who knows? Maybe this is your month and your child will have a cousin close in age to play with. :) That's what keeps me going.
Just a quick personal update:
We are now in the TTW and my husband is SUPER excited. He's been wanting children just at badly as I have, but this month we used an ovulation kit and he thinks that the wait is over. I love his enthusiasm; I just don't want him to get his hopes up only to have them come crashing down on top of him. I really hope that he's right, but the pessimist in me is trying to not get too excited.
Hope that everyone is doing well! Good luck to all :)
I was there when my sister took her test (I actually told her to take it) she was trying for two months but her boyfriend lives out of state so I didn't think she would get pregnant yet. But alas she was, and I acted all happy and excited, but when she went to tell our other sister I went into the bathroom and cried silently. It took me about a month to be truly and honestly happy for her. So I know how it feels to beat yourself up and feeling like a selfish jerk. But it sounds like all you ladies experiencing these feelings are such kind human beings just waiting for their dream and their moment to become their reality. Glad to see we all can eventually be happy for our friends and family. Now I can't wait to meet my lil niece or nephew, (we all think its a girl) =)