I'm so sorry alzora! Please don't blame yourself. Something may not be working right, but it's not because you are doing anything wrong. I am sure your husband doesn't blame you at all. For your HSG question: my reproductive endocrinologist performed the procedure, so she told me what was going on while it was happening. I would guess that in your case, the radiologist will send the results to your OBGYN and you will follow up with him/her. Don't give up hope yet. There are still a lot of unknowns for you right now. The HSG will tell you a lot, and depending on those results, your husband may also need to be tested. When is your HSG? I'll be praying you get good results!
Oh Alzora, hang in there!!! If you need to take a break, we'll be here whenever you come back (we'll miss you but do what you need to to take care of yourself)! -That is why I haven't been around much. I really thought I was pregnant this month and I take these things so hard. My husband's birthday is this week and I had all these daydreams about managing to keep it a secret and then tell him as a special birthday wish come true. Ugh, why do I go ahead and fall in love with a baby who isn't even real? Anyway, I feel for you, I hate that you feel so bad. But really, this is not your fault. I hope this happens for you soon soon soon. I hope you get more complete info. asap and that it is good news.
Alzora-- the clinician (OB or RE) always performs it, as radiologists are not in the business of peering into anyone's vagina (inserting a speculum, inserting the catheter, etc). Even though the clinician might well see evidence of normal or abnormal findings on the HSG, it's the radiologist's job to actually interpret it and look for any associated findings, evaluate every structure seen on the films, etc.
Since it won't be an urgent test it usually takes about a week, give or take, to get the formal results.
From your self-gathered data your hormonal axis appears to be working perfectly. Even if it weren't that is of course no reason to beat yourself up, but it proves even more succintly how much this can be out of your hands.
In the interim if you're feeling frustrated and unproductive you might want to start researching what you'd like to do, and what options you'd have, if the HSG shows adhesions and tubal infertility. Look into local gynecologists and see if they offer anything on the tuboplasty spectrum, ask your OB/gyn or RE what their protocols are, etc. And didn't you mention you'll be getting on your husband's insurance this summer, which will broaden your provider options?
Lastly, as unhelpful as it might sound right now given how much you want a family, there are SO many things you will no longer be able to do or enjoy once you're pregnant or a mother. Why not give those things a whirl? Mix up a strong Cosmopolitan, enjoy a dinner/movie out, go on a day hike, take a road trip to visit college friends, do something spontaneous. I would really love to be able to do things like that every now and again, and won't really be able to for years. It might be fun to have a "countdown to imprisonment... I mean motherhood" bucket list.
I'm so sorry Alzora. I can sympathize. Month after month without a positive can take its toll. But know that you are just starting the process of finding out what's going on and what the best course of action will be. Once you have some solid answers it will be easier. In the meantime, as hard and unhelpful as it sounds, just take it day by day. Maybe a Nameberry break would help for a ill bit. It can be hard to be so immersed in all things baby when you're struggling. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for better results in the near future.
Aw, thanks for your support, everyone. I've cheered up some as the day has gone on. My husband is extremely supportive, so I always feel better when he comes home from work and consoles me. I know it's not my "fault," but it's driving me crazy not knowing where the problem lies. It shouldn't be this difficult to make a baby. Most people do it so easily. My sister did it at 18. But it seems like I always have to jump huge hurdles for everything in life that goes so smoothly for others. But I shouldn't complain; I know plenty of people have worse problems than I do. Keep in mind that I'm in the midst of PMS.
A bucket list before imprisonment...that's not a bad idea. After our first failed month I told my husband that we would take a day trip each month that we don't conceive, to help pass the time and to take complete advantage of this honeymoon phase. But you know...$$. I'm sure I can find affordable things to do though. Good idea.
But Blade, I'm confused. You said that an OB or RE always performs the HSG test. But my gynecologist just handed me a sheet of paper that she called a "prescription" to get the test done at a local hospital--NOT the hospital in the system she is affiliated with, because there's a stupid insurance kink so I have to go to the other local hospital, the one that kills all its patients. So she doesn't work there and gave no indication that she would show up to perform this test. She just told me to call the hospital and schedule it with radiology myself, telling them I have this "prescription." So that's what I did. I only talked to receptionists and a person in billing (not TIB--different place ;) ). I told the receptionists that my doctor gave me this so-called prescription and asked them when I could come do the test. I scheduled it for next Thursday. There was no mention of a doctor being there. I'm confused. But I didn't like the idea of a radiologist looking at my vagina--I actually told @Andrea that exact concern privately--so now I'm confused about who on earth will be looking in there. Is this not going to work out?? I feel lost!
Hmm. I dont know. Radiologists certainly do procedures (mainly intravascular ones, but they also insert tubes and catheters into kidneys, lungs, abdomens, etc under image guidance). I actually did an elective in interventional radiology and as surgeons interface with them constantly, and I've never heard of them using a vaginal speculum and dilating a cervix.
So I don't know, but it's certainly something you can find out. Just phone the scheduling dept at IR or Rads and ask.
The pre-mommiehood bucketlist, I love it, it such a positive take on not-conceiving. Hang in there Alzora, you're answer might be just around the corner!
I'm in week 6 of my cycle now and well, something is happening, pink CM yuk (I know tmi) I don't know what this means, but I hope things get back to "normal" soon!
I HAD TO CANCEL THAT TEST!!!!!!!! :'(
I called the hospital to ask who will actually be performing the HSG. A radiologist guy told me that a doctor has to be there. So he transferred me to scheduling to ask who they have scheduled for me. They ended up having NO doctor scheduled and they told me that since my doctor who ordered it is with the OTHER local hospital, I have to have it done there, but I CAN'T have it done there because my insurance won't cover it there. :( What does this mean...how do I find a doctor to do this...I guess I have to call the fertility clinic back and deal with Theresa-in-Billing, but they were unwilling to use any other diagnostic codes except the code that my insurance won't cover.
I have cramps and I am miserable.
Just one hurdle after another. I feel like a rat lost in a maze.
Alzora-- keep your head up! I have no practical advice to offer, but you have overcome SO much... you can do this too! You never get more than you can handle. I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel. ((hugs))