Category: Little Women
A few days ago, I was introduced to Fred Gooltz, COO of the hot new obsession site itsasickness.com. Wow, I thought, Fred, one of my favorite cool retro names. But it soon became evident that Fred didn’t share my enthusiasm, expressing his negative feelings about growing up with a name that seemed to be out of step with his time. To delve a little deeper, we had the following e-conversation:
FRED: There are always certain kinds of people who try to call you Freddy. Some people like to put “ie” on the end of any name, usually because they’re playing at childish schoolyard politics, infantilizing others with nicknames to feel stronger. It’s like assuming that you’ve got the right to call somebody ‘slugger’ or ‘kiddo’ or ‘champ.’ I rage against Freddie. I always picture the ‘I’ dotted with a heart.
Very few nicknames were attempted on me – I had one teacher who called me “Dauntless” for a while, but thankfully it didn’t stick when I changed schools. It’s entertaining and a little sad when a person with a clunky wig of a name like Fred goes by “Thunder” or “The Hammer.” It’s the McLovin joke from the movie Superbad. Nobody wants to be that guy. Naming your son Fred, Poindexter, Egbert, or Sheldon nearly guarantees that they have to deal with a moment like that eventually.
Do you know why your parents picked the name? Does it have any family connections? Did it affect your feelings towards your parents?
FRED: There are Alfreds and Fredericks all over my family history. My family is full of old timey names. But my mom – whose name is Estelle, by the way – insists that she really liked the name. She actually loved the name Friedrich, from a character in Little Women.“ The book probably made Friedrich a popular name in the 1870s, but a century later… not so much. I should probably be grateful–another option was apparently the name Zepherin.
Were you teased in Elementary School? High School? College?
FRED: In spite of the name Fred, to be honest, I wasn’t teased too badly about my name. I was teased because of my behavior. If anything, my name probably encouraged me to be able to fit in with different tribes of kids in school.
Ever think of changing your name?
FRED: Yes. I’ve met some very wonderful Freds who are passionate about spreading the name. and I’ve met some very nice people who are comforted by the Lawrence Welk Show- era simplicity of the name, but I’m not a Fred-evangelist. It took a long time for me to come to terms with my name. About thirty years. The first time I tried to change my name I was probably seven years old. For about a month I insisted that my family call me Rick – shortened from Frederick. I was adamant, I wouldn’t respond to my family unless I was addressed as Rick. But this distaste for the name Fred made my mother sad, so I dropped it. I’m sorry to say, but Fred never completely clicked with me. The sound of the name itself can sometimes clang like a jeer – even from friends. Frederick is probably better, I think.
Octomom aside, most of us only have the opportunity to name a small number of children. Authors, on the other hand, can name family after family–including the parents. Some–like Jane Austen–were limited by the restricted supply of names available in their milieu, while others could let their imaginations soar.
I thought it might be fun (and instructive?) to look at some of the more prominent brother and sister sets in literature for possible ideas–though you could probably skip Wallstreet Panic.
Alcott, Little Woman
Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Austen, Sense and Sensibility
Chekhov, Three Sisters
Dickens, Martin Chuzzlewit
Mitchell, Gone With the Wind
Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire
Woody Allen, Hannah & Her Sisters
Cheever, The Wapshot Chronicle
Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Dumas, The Corsican Brothers
Faulkner, several novels
WALLSTREET PANIC, ADMIRAL DEWEY
Miller, Death of a Salesman
O’Neill, Desire Under the Elms
Shepard, Fool for Love
Steinbeck, East of Eden
Barrie, Peter Pan
Dickens, A Christmas Carol
Galsworthy, The Forsyte Saga
JOLYON (Jolly), IRENESOAMES, WINIFRED
Hardy, The Return of the Native
CLEMENT (Clym), THOMASIN
James, The Turn of the Screw
Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
Shaw, Man and Superman
Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
Waugh, Brideshead Revisited
January Jones, the attractive star of the hot TV show Mad Men has focused a lot of attention on her (real) name, but what’s the prognosis for the other calendar baby names?
JANUARY, named after Janus, the Roman god of beginnings and ends, has a real history as a name, dating back to the Chaucer‘s Canterbury Tales character in The Merchant’s Tale, a wealthy, elderly knight. Flash forward to the 1970s for a complete image transformation via the Jacqueline Susann soap-operaish novel Once is Not Enough‘s heroine, “the luscious January Wayne.” (The South Dakota-bred January Jones told Town & Country magazine that she was named for the Susann character.) Put it all together, and you have the sexiest month name, and one that has the best chance of catching on.
FEBRUARY. The shortest month of the year has the least potential as a baby name, mostly because of its awkward pronunciation. You could consider its birthstone, Amethyst, instead.
MARCH, named after Mars, the Roman god of war, is the most masculine of the group, and is beginning to be used for boys, particularly as a strong, brisk middle name. It’s also a surname name, exemplified by the beloved March family in Little Women.
APRIL, from the Latin word meaning to open, as in the opening buds of spring, has been in name-style limbo for a a couple of decades, but might be due for an early comeback. Its prominent role in Revolutionary Road, portrayed by Kate Winslet, could breathe new life into it. It also has appealing musical references via songs like I’ll Remember April and April in Paris. Singer Avril Lavigne has drawn attention to the French version.
MAY, which started as a pet form of both Mary and Margaret, was wildly popular at the turn of the 20th century, in both real life and fiction–writers like Henry James and Edith Wharton used it for their pure and innocent heroines. The Mae spelling, as in Mae West, was much saucier. Some modern parents have begun to use May as a sweet, old-fashioned middle name, but others–including actress Madeline Stowe,–have recognized its potential as a first.
JUNE was the midcentury goody-goody girl, exemplified by June Allyson in movies and quintessential TV Mom June (Leave it to Beaver) Cleaver. Some parents might prefer the livelier Juno, but June–recently picked by actor/oil heir Balthazar Getty for his daughter–has the no-nonsense solidity many parents are seeking in these difficult times. A hipster favorite middle name.
JULY, named for Juilius Caesar, has been used infrequently, and then usually as a male name–there was a character named July Anderson in Lonesome Dove. But it could conceivably be an offbeat namesake for an Aunt Julie or an Uncle Julius.
AUGUST, like the word with the accent on the second syllable, has a somewhat serious image, associated with two heavyweight playwrights–Strindberg and Wilson. It has some celebrity cred, having been chosen by Mariska Hargitay, Lena Olin and Jeanne Tripplehorn. Garth Brooks turned August into a female option when he used it for his daughter.
SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER all have limited potential, the Latin Septimus and Octavius having more history as names. On the other hand, hip writer Dave Eggers did name his daughter October….