Today’s guest blogger, Mike Campbell, creator of the popular, authoritative and highly respected site behindthename.com, explains what he continues to find intriguing about the subject of names.

My website started as a simple experiment, turned into a hobby, and then morphed into a full-blown obsession.  It is a bit of a “lonely” obsession; none of my offline friends share my passion for the subject.  I often neglect bringing it up, since the usual reaction I get when someone first learns that I run a website about names is a blank stare, followed by “oh, like for babies?”  I hate that.  Names aren’t just for babies.  In fact I had little interest in babies before I had one of my own a couple of years ago.

So why am I so fascinated by names?   Since you’re reading this blog chances are you have at least a passing interest in the subject yourself, so maybe you’ve been posed with the same question. Personally, I don’t have an easy answer since names have so many interesting facets, but what follow are five features of onomastics that keep me intrigued.

The subject is universal, and by that I mean it touches every person. All of us have a name. All of us use names on a daily basis. Most parents have had to dwell for at least a while on a suitable name for their child. This is not quantum physics, it’s accessible, relevant, and fun.

Names provide a snapshot of culture. Meanings of names can reveal the values of the time, from pious Hebrew names to warlike and proud Germanic names. Many people find history dry, but I eat the subject up, and names can provide some fascinating insights.  A neat  example of this occurs after the onset of the Roman Christian period, when the somewhat functional and restrictive Classical praenomina start to lose ground to more gracious offerings such as Amatus “beloved,” Benedictus “blessed” and Clemens “merciful”.

Names connect us to the divine. So many names reference gods and goddesses. The Hebrew god Yahweh, whose name was at times considered blasphemous even to be spoken, appears in dozens of common names of today, such as Joshua and John. Allah is referenced in  Abdullah, as well as many other names that combine Abdul,  “servant of …” with one of his titles.  In names coming from the ancient Greco-Roman world, Marcus and Martina both refer to the war god Mars, Denis ultimately comes from wine god Dionysus, and even the name of my daughter Isidora derives from the Egyptian goddess Isis. Numerous other examples can also be found in Phoenician names (Hannibal references  the god Ba’al), Egyptian names (Tutankhamun references Amun), Hindu names and Norse names.

Names link us to historical giants. Thus, the dim-witted Homer Simpson shares a name with a lion of Greek poetry. The Xanders of the world can look to Alexander the Great, Chucks to Charlemagne, and Eleanors to Eleanor of Aquitaine. The simple fact that  names are shared means most of us have a namesake of note.

The subject is dynamic, new trends are always emerging. Multicultural influences, creative spellings, and the ever-pervasive sway of popular culture means that the “pool” of names has changed noticeably even from when I was a child.. For this I’m thankful, since it keeps the subject fresh, alive, and something that will always enthuse me.

Mike Campbell, who lives in Victoria, British Columbia, and is the father of a two-year-old daughter, launched his site in 1996, seeing the subject of names as combining his interests in history and language.

For years, it was my dirty little secret. I had special paper: lined white pads with no margins or holes down the left side. The pens had to be just so too, heavy black or blue fountain pens like we used in Catholic school. I needed two decks of cards, shuffled together. And my name lists, that was the most important thing.

I called it Writing Names, and the only people who knew I did it, my parents and my younger brother, teased me mercilessly about it. It was weird, they said, crazy even. And so I kept it secret from the rest of the world, not only when I was ten and eleven and twelve but for years afterward.

I was seriously unpopular during that time, too old to race around on bikes or play house in the woods, but too young to be so ashamed of my name obsession that I’d give it up. After school and through long summer days, I’d get out my paper and my cards and my lists and I’d settle in for hours alone with my Name Game.

Here’s how it worked: I had four lists of 144 names each – girls’ names, boys’ names, last names, and place names. The names on the lists were each keyed to a pair of cards: ace-two might equal Barbara, say, or eight-three Joseph. I’d shuffle my cards, divide them into two equal piles, and then turn over the first pair, which would indicate the fathers’ name in the family I was inventing. Then mom and last name. (more…)

I was talking to an acquaintance the other day and when she mentioned her young daughter Becca, I suddenly thought, “Hey, whatever happened to  Becky?”  You rarely hear of a Rebecca under the age of 13 these days who is called by that traditional diminutive.

This is something that happens with pet forms in general–they go through phases and changes as much as–or indeed more than–the mother name.  For example when you hear the name Elizabeth, you have no idea of her age–she could be 99 or 9 months old–but you can certainly guess that Betty is a Grandma and that Liz and Beth are probably young adults. 

Some other examples: Patricia’s nicknames went from Patsy to Patty to Pat to Tricia to Trish to practically non-existent.  The no longer popular Mary spawned any number of offshoots before it faded, including Mamie, Molly and Polly.  Katherine moved from Kate and Katie to Kit and Kitty to Kay and Kathy, back to Kate and Katie,  to the current Kat; and Edward launched not only Eddie and Ward but Ed, Ted and Ned.

But the prizes for the two names with the most mutable  pet forms and offshoots have to go to Margaret and Elizabeth, many of whose diminutives have become stand-alone names.  Here, in the roughest chronological order, is what Margarets and Elizabeths been known as over time:

MARGARET

PEG
PEGGY
MAGGIE
MAGO

MARGO

MAY
DAISY
MADGE
MIDGE
MAISIE
MARGIE
MEGGIE
MEG
GRETA

ELIZABETH

TIBBY
ELIZA
BETSY
BESS
BESSIE
ELSIE
BETTA
ELSA
BETTY
BETH
LIBBY
LIZBETH
ELISA
ELISE
LISA
LIZA
LIZZIE
LIZ
(But note that many, if not most baby Elizabeths these days are called Elizabeth.)

Many couples are shocked to find that, while they agree about so many more seemingly important things, they’re locked in an enormous battle over baby names. Why do fights rear up about an issue that should be fun and pleasurable? And how to solve the Baby Name Battles?

RECOGNIZE YOU’RE NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT NAMES. Name discussions often tap into deeper issues like religion, family, people’s experiences from their pasts that they may not have discussed openly or even be aware of themselves. It may take more time, patience, and care to thoroughly discuss name tastes and their implications than you anticipate.

DON‘T COMPROMISE. Finding a compromise name — one that may not be either of your favorites but that you both like okay — might not actually be the best solution. It can provide a quicker, easier fix to the name problem, but may cover up the deeper issues still lurking.

DIG DEEPER. It’s worth uncovering the reasons BEHIND the names you and your partner like. Let’s say he loves the name Jack (which you hate) and you finally figure out that’s because he thinks Jack sounds like a popular, laid-back, masculine guy — exactly the sort of guy he wanted to be. That can help you both look for other names that might fit the bill in a way that’s meaningful to him but that you also like.

BE SENSITIVE. Rather than snapping, Why do you like that stupid name?, realize you’re talking about his mother and father, his ethnic identity, his religious background, his feelings about himself as a child, and use the kind of care those subjects deserve. And treat yourself and your feelings about names with the same tenderness and respect!

TAKE YOUR TIME. Search long and hard, make lots of lists, talk about it with friends if you find that fun and not threatening, and discuss fully the issues that may lie beneath why you like or hate certain names. Searching for the right name can be a great opportunity to learn about each other.

DON‘T OPT OUT. Don‘t sidestep the struggle and turn the name decision over to somebody else — his mother, a friend. It’s your decision to make and you should keep ownership of it.

REACH FOR A NAME YOU BOTH LOVE. With enough discussion you might reach the ideal — a name you both love that’s not a compromise. Failing that, I actually think rather than a compromise of choosing a name you’re both just so-so about, it’s better to let one person choose the first name and the other the middle, and then switch with the next baby.

DON‘T LET THE NAME DECISION UNDERMINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Are baby names important? Sure, but not as important as your relationship. If the name decision is really tearing you apart (and we have heard from couples like this), seek counseling, take time to work through all the issues that arise. Things will be a lot tougher when the baby is actually here and the name tension might be symbolic of deeper problems you should address now.

We’d love to hear about your baby name battles with your partner. Did you fight about names? Take a long time talking through your decision? Agree easily? Tell us more!

We empathize, Jen and Ben. As the Jennifer Garner Baby Name Watch enters Day Four Five Six Eight, we imagine you might be having a tough time settling on a name. It took us a long time to name our babies too.

First time around, we weren’t sure of the sex, so we couldn’t very well pick a name before the baby was born. And then, even when we had advance knowledge about gender, we wanted to see what the baby looked like before we made the final name decision.

And then, well, we just couldn’t decide. With so many great names out there, it can be really difficult to choose just one. And since you did such a great job naming Violet, you obviously have high standards to live up to.

We have a suggestion that might help. Check out all the great names people guessed you might name your new daughter. Phoebe? Frances? Clementine? Ivy? There are literally hundreds of awesome ideas in the comments section of the blog post below, in case you’re stuck.

Over 40 percent of the 1500 1800 1900 people who voted in the Jennifer Garner Baby Name poll guessed you would pick a Gently Old-Fashioned Name like Beatrice (another good choice), with another 35 percent opting for a sweet name like Grace. Color names such as Ruby or Scarlett: not so much.

Of course, you may have already decided on a name and are just keeping it to yourselves for now.  We understand (even though it’s driving us a little crazy).  We only hope you don’t decide to keep the name a secret for basically ever, the way Holly Hunter did with the names of her now-three-year-old twins.

For those of you reading this post who AREN‘T Ben and Jen, there’s still time to vote in our poll below and guess the Jennifer Garner baby name for a chance to win an advance copy of our new book, Cool Irish Names for Babies.

What do you think is taking Ben and Jen so long? Vote here and let us know what you think.