Category: Navigating Name Problems and Disputes
My husband and I talked about names on our first date.
What was meaningful, I think, is that our baby name discussion signaled we took each other and our relationship seriously.
Which may be exactly why some couples don’t talk about names until they’re expecting a baby or (this is hard to imagine, but maybe it’s true?) the child is actually born. Honey, we forgot to name the baby!
So when did you and your partner first talk about baby names?
What sparked the discussion, and what did you say? Did you learn anything about each other or your relationship in the process?
It was an intriguing question posed over on the forums: What would your children be named, if your partner had complete control?
In my case, my husband would have chosen names from his family tree….very very sleepy names.
Ideally, choosing your baby’s name is a fun, inspired endeavor, but too often baby name problems get in the way. Here are the problems we hear most often, and how to fix them:
Your family interferes with your name choice
Your mom wants you to name the baby after her. His dad wants you to name the baby after his mom. And everybody hates the name you’ve chosen….and isn’t shy about telling you so. Name discussions with family can be an illuminating way to pass your pregnancy, but the minute family members start to act like they have equal voting rights, it’s time to cut off the talks. Bowing to family name pressure is the Number 1 reason for name regret.
Your friend ruins the name you love
A while back we did a blog called Not Your Mother’s Baby Names, about names that fail to bridge the gender gap. That post focused on newly-minted names that the older generations may not get, but those aren’t the only kinds of names that don’t translate across the generations.
Mom may have liked perky cheerleader names — Kerry, Missy — while you prefer serious Biblical names — Abraham and Lydia. Time-honored choices such as August and Imogen that sound classic and handsome to you may feel hopelessly dowdy to her.
The fact is, each generation tends to reinvent baby names anew, gravitating to new choices and new tastes in names. It’s how we make our name choices our own — but by definition, that may mean that Mom (and Dad and Grandma and Aunt Sue) fails to like or understand them.
Duana Taha reports that she and her new husband are compatible in every way, until they start talking about baby names.
I recently got married, and we’re very happy. Like a lot of just-married couples, we’re thinking about children in the near future, which is great.
Except we forgot one crucial thing. A baby name pre-nup.
Do most couples work out their baby names before they agree to be tied together forever? Was I unaware? Because there are some issues here we definitely should have discussed…!