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Category: Navigating Name Problems and Disputes

baby names compromise

By Pamela Redmond Satran

Many couples are shocked to find that, while they agree about so many more seemingly important things, they’re locked in an enormous battle over baby names. Why do arguments rear up about an issue that should be fun and pleasurable? And how can you solve these Baby Name Battles?

RECOGNIZE YOU’RE NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT NAMES. Name discussions often tap into deeper issues like religion, family, people’s experiences from their pasts that they may not have discussed openly or even be aware of themselves. It may take more time, patience, and care to thoroughly discuss name tastes and their implications than you anticipate.

DON’T COMPROMISE. Finding a compromise name — one that may not be either of your favorites but that you both like okay — might not actually be the best solution. It can provide a quicker, easier fix to the name problem, but may cover up the deeper issues still lurking.

DIG DEEPER.
It’s worth uncovering the reasons BEHIND the names you and your partner like. Let’s say your partner is campaigning for a name from their family — which may be more about pleasing their parents than loving that particular name. That can help you both look for other names that might fit the bill in a way that’s meaningful to the other person but that you also like.

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Laura writes:

My husband loves the name Cora for the baby girl (our first) that we are expecting.

I initially was opposed, but it really has grown on me. I like its simplicity and sort of vintage feel.

The only problem? My name is Laura!

The rhyming factor seems very weird to me. Our last name is one syllable, so I fear rhyming first names would make us sound like a Dr. Seuss family!

But I can’t deny we are both drawn to the name. Help!

The Name Sage replies:

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Name Sage: Baby Names for Another Boy

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baby names for boy

Becky writes:

My husband and I are expecting our third baby. We have a son, Jackson Owen, and daughter, Scarlett Olivia, and will have our final child this spring, another boy.

My husband loves Barrett, I just don’t. It sounds odd to me, and as my children point out rhymes with carrot, ferret, parrot …

I’ve suggested Logan and Wyatt, eventually swaying my husband to go along with one of them but then second-guessing myself. Will it be too popular? Sound strange as an adult? Does it sound strange with the only middle name we can agree on? (It’s Odin – my husband wants to continue the “O” middle pattern.)

I think I’m the problem. I just can’t find a name and stick to it! Help, please.

The Name Sage responds:

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Maria writes:

We are expecting a baby in July. We’re not finding out the gender – but that’s proving to be extremely difficult when it comes to names!

If it’s a girl, we have a list as long as my arm: Willow, Hazel, Lace, Maple, Olive, Violet, Eva, Sylvie/Sylvie, and Ruby.

For boys, I like Lars, Banjo, and Oak. But I cannot find any names that my husband and I both love.

I prefer older names, and don’t like traditional names like John or William. Can you suggest a boy’s name that would be similar to the girl’s names I’ve listed?

July is a long way away at the moment – but at the rate we’re going, if this baby is a boy he’ll be nameless or called Violet!

The Name Sage replies:

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Jackie writes:

We’re expecting baby #4 in early Februaryit’s a girl! – and are totally stuck on a name.

We already have three children: Eleanor Casey, called Ellie, and then twins, Tessa Lillian and Drew Morris, named for my great-grandparents, Lillian and Morris.

This time around my husband and I are having a hard time agreeing on anything!

Here are the names we’re considering, but not totally sold on:

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