Category: Navigating Name Problems and Disputes

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Oh no she didn’t!

shockedchild

Your mouth popped open.

Your jaw dropped.

You simply could not believe what your mother, your spouse, your college roommate, that stranger on the message board said about your baby’s name….or your own.

What’s the most outrageous, insulting, ignorant, ridiculous thing anyone has ever said to you about a name?

If you’ve been lucky enough not to be on the receiving end of a crazy name statement, what have you overheard someone else saying?

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name teasing

Pam Spam: That was a rare one, easy to ignore.

But Pammy, said in a whine-y, wheedle-y voice, was more hurtful.  To this day, if someone wants to get under my skin (I’m looking at you, Cousin Michael), they call me Pammy.

Were you ever teased about your name?  In what way?  How hurtful was it — did it verge on bullying, or was it more affectionate, even a sign of popularity?

And what about your children’s names?  Did you look for a name that was tease-proof, or at least one that would not lend itself to teasing?

Has your child gotten teased about his or her name?  Do you find people more tolerant and less prone to name-teasing today than they were when you were growing up?

Please tell us your experiences around names and teasing — either about your own name or the names of your children and loved ones.

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couple1

My husband and I talked about names on our first date.

Me being me, that might not seem so surprising. But it was years before Beyond Jennifer & Jason, and in those pre-internet days my name nerdism was still in the closet.

What was meaningful, I think, is that our baby name discussion signaled we took each other and our relationship seriously.

Which may be exactly why some couples don’t talk about names until they’re expecting a baby or (this is hard to imagine, but maybe it’s true?) the child is actually born.  Honey, we forgot to name the baby!

So when did you and your partner first talk about baby names?

What sparked the discussion, and what did you say?   Did you learn anything about each other or your relationship in the process?

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If Your Partner Named Your Kids….

wifenotunderstand

It was an intriguing question posed over on the forums: What would your children be named, if your partner had complete control?

In my case, my husband would have chosen names from his family tree….very very sleepy names.

Our daughter would be named Molly instead of RoryMolly Rose. Or maybe Rose Elizabeth, after my husband’s grandmother and mother.

One of our sons would probably have been John and the other one Edward, called Ned. I’m guessing John Richard and Edward Victor. All serviceable choices but…..yawn.

Of course, turn the tables and my husband would say my unedited choices would be unacceptably outrageous. Flora, Otis, and Penn, maybe. Sounds fantastic to me.

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babysurprised

Ideally, choosing your baby’s name is a fun, inspired endeavor, but too often baby name problems get in the way.  Here are the problems we hear most often, and how to fix them:

Your family interferes with your name choice

Your mom wants you to name the baby after her.  His dad wants you to name the baby after his mom.  And everybody hates the name you’ve chosen….and isn’t shy about telling you so.  Name discussions with family can be an illuminating way to pass your pregnancy, but the minute family members start to act like they have equal voting rights, it’s time to cut off the talks.  Bowing to family name pressure is the Number 1 reason for name regret.

Your friend ruins the name you love

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