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SIBLING NAMES: Don’t Commit Before You Read This!

March 10th, 2010

One of our favorite baby name blogs is Nancy‘s Baby Names, written by Nancy C. Man, which is where we found this wonderful piece on baby name patterns and sibling names.

Humans love patterns. Just look last year’s list of popular twin names:

Jacob & Joshua
Daniel & David
Jayden & Jordan
Ethan & Evan
Taylor & Tyler
Gabriella & Isabella
Isaac & Isaiah
Madison & Morgan
Elijah & Isaiah
Ella & Emma

Eight pairs start with the same letter. Seven have the same rhythm. Another seven end with the same letter (and many of these nearly rhyme).

For twins and other multiples, name patterns are easy. You know the number of children and their genders ahead of time. But what if you want a name pattern for an entire sibling set? That can make things tricky. You don’t know how many children you’ll have, or what their genders will be. You also don’t know how your tastes may change over time.

If you’re thinking about a name pattern to cover all of your kids, here are three pieces of advice to consider before you begin:

Don’t lock yourself into something limiting.
Let’s say you like flowers. You have a daughter and you name her Lily. You have another daughter and name her Rose. Then another, Jasmine. And then a fourth, but…you don’t like any other flower names. Iris? Too old. Poppy? Too young. Zinnia? Too weird. Amaryllis will never be spelled correctly. And Daisy is the golden retriever down the street.

Or, let’s say you have a son named Alexander. Then you have another boy, and you decide to name him Xavier so they both have that X in common. Then baby #3–a little girl–comes along. Well, you can’t do Alexis–that’s too close to Alexander. You won’t go near Maxine because you fear maxi pad jokes. Roxanne reminds you too much of that song. Xena reminds you too much of that show. And Beatrix makes you think of rabbits.

When you play chess, you have to think ahead several moves. Look at sibling name patterns the same way. Think ahead as many kids as possible. If you can think of 10 or more usable names that fit the pattern, it’s probably a safe pattern. If you can’t, the pattern may be too limiting to be sustainable.

Consider the pros and cons of visibility.
Have you heard of the Duggars? They have nearly 20 kids, and all of those kids have a J-name. This type of name pattern is one of the easiest to spot. (Especially in large families.)

But name patterns don’t have to be obvious. Let’s say your children will have a whole bunch of aunts and uncles you’d like to honor with baby names. You make a list of their names and simply pick from this list as you have children. In this case, the pattern (aunt and uncle names) is so subtle that it’s basically a family secret.

Here are some example name patterns, ranging from blatant to barely there:

Very conspicuous: First letters (Lou, Leah, Len, Lila)
Rhyme (Aiden, Hayden, Kaeden, Graydon)
Like-sounds (Meredith, Heath, Edith, Griffith)
Theme (Indigo, Scarlet, Tawny, Cyan)
Kinda conspicuous: Alphabetical (Alfred, Bea, Chester, Diana)
Rhythm (Augustus, Miranda, Dakota, Lorenzo)
Source (Juliet, Yorick, Orlando, Cordelia)
Origin (Duncan, Angus, Una, Lachlan)
Inconspicuous: Number of letters (Jason, Frank, Kelly, Alexa)
Spread-out alphabetical (Brian, Elaine, Laura, Paul)
Letter in common (Abigail, Sebastian, Tobias, Isabella)
Chain [last letters into first letters] (Michael, Lauren, Nora, Andrew)

How can you test the visibility of a particular pattern? Make a list of names that fit the pattern. Pick two at random and give them to a friend. Ask that friend what the two names have in common. Did she get it on the first try? Was she unable to guess at all? That should give you a good idea about where the pattern would fall on the spectrum.

Avoid sets of names that have an endpoint.
Your first son is Luke. The next is Sky. The next is Walker. And then…surprise! Son #4. Now what–Anakin? Darth? Chewbacca?

If you start off with a discrete set of names, the universe will laugh at you and you will either:

  • not have enough kids, or
  • have too many kids

to match the number of names in the set. Murphy’s Law in action. So don’t tempt fate–stick with an open-ended theme that could end at two names or continue to ten.

Nancy C. Man of Nancy’s Baby Names has been helping parents find meaningful names for their children since 2006.

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31 Responses to “SIBLING NAMES: Don’t Commit Before You Read This!”
murp Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 7:13 am

wwsxz2 d`dcgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

lo Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 8:19 am

My 2 boys have handsome but straightforward names (Mark and Paul) and I’d like to do pick future names which are somewhat more interesting for our future kids but that makes building a cohesive set hard.

salome Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 8:39 am

Great advice!!

Personally, I’m leaning towards Saint’s names and variations thereof. I figure most people won’t recognize the link between nowadays. Like Dorothy, Rufus and Barnaby. And if someone does, then I’ve found a kindred. :)

phaedra Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 9:46 am

Cool idea, salome. I have a friend who did that, and her kids’ names aren’t obviously a pattern. They’re great names too!

I have another friend who uses “virtue” names for his kids’ middle names. So far the middles are Joy, Grace, Faith, Hope, and Justus for the boy.

Alyssa Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 11:15 am

My in-laws got into a pattern with their girls on accident. The mother’s name started with a K, then they named their first girl Katie, the next came along and they liked another K name, by the time the 3rd girl came around they had 6 kids and thought this would be their last and felt obligated to give her another K name so she wouldn’t be the odd one out. They didn’t do anything like it with the boys, so their naming pattern has always seemed kind of random to me.

Linelei Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 11:57 am

I’m not a huge fan of matchy-matchy names, but I LOVE theme names, like Saint names, or names of stars, or ancient gods and goddesses, or spice names, or music names… I like themes because the names can each be unique but they all still go together.

JNE Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 11:58 am

I fall into pattern with my two… but two aren’t so “pattern” crazy unless they rhyme or match on theme heavily (as in your examples) or something similar to that… I always think 3 are needed to really solidify a pattern. Mine have a rhythm pattern, shared letters, same number of letters, and could be seen as source sharing. But no one really seems to notice, other than the occasional name obsessed person pointing out the same number of letters or a nice “rhythm” that is shared. Most people just seem to think the two sound like they are part of the same family – and that kind of connection is all good to me. I will admit that if I’d had a second girl rather than a boy, I would have followed suit with another botanical middle name and themes that come in the form of middles are more subtle by definition (they just aren’t seen all that often, generally). If a theme is desired, I think that’s a more appropriate place for it. But I definitely agree – too obvious can be too much and it’s even worse when you run out of names! Next thing you know, your kid’s called Deathstar!

liz22 Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Great blog! I ‘m not a fan of obvious patterns for sibings but I must admit I do like sibling sets to have similar origins and maybe to a lesser extent, same rhythm.

Rose Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 1:18 pm

I have a friend whose parents named them all after royalty, though I’m not sure if it was intentional or not. Their names are Eleanor, Catherine, Alexander, and John. I thought that was a cool name ‘theme’ because it’s not really obvious.

Bella Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 2:39 pm

An amzing blog! Really, it’s just all kinds of awesome! Intuative, thought provoking and interesting.

My question- why do so many people feel the need to pattern? Do they fear one sybling would feel out of the mix, or is it a subconcious thing because you love Shakespearen names, or all things Mc- something?

I’m an only child, but if I were a boy my name would have been Christian Shade. My mom didn’t know much about names, or God, at that point, but she picked two first names- Christian and Gabrielle with God-related meanings and Shade and Carolina both have something to do with singing! Very strange.

I am sixteen and have a huge list of names and I cannot detect a pattern other than- names I love! Some names have two middle names, others just one. Some are places, some are virtues, a few queens, a little Shakespeare and a lot of God-related meanings. I’m pretty much across the board, but others seem to pick a side, I really wonder why.

susan Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 2:46 pm

I mainly love classic names. I guess that’s our family’s theme.

Stephanie Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 3:31 pm

My best friend recently encountered this problem when trying to come up with a name for her daughter, expected in June. Her two older daughters are name Kiara and Kiana. So when baby girl #3 came along, she didn’t want to end up with KKK. Incidentally, they chose Cassandra for the next one, which I think goes well with the others.

We’re looking to add another girl to the family soon and I’m very conscious about not wanting my next to have a name that’s too “matchy”. Initially we were leaning toward Sahara to go with our daughter, Savannah. Now I think we’re favoring Ella.

MutantAnemone Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Cool blog, very helpful. There tends to be a mixed array of names that I like, and I know that if I choose a really foreign-sounding name (Viggo! Simo! Ykaterina!), a classic name (Edward! James! Anne!), or something obscure, I’ll want to stick with that theme when it comes to naming future kiddos. I like the more subtle and inconspicuous lists!

(Though sometimes it’s tough. D: I mean, I like names that have been around for a looong time [Alfred, Matilda, Gertrude], but I also like Simon, Solomon, Judah, Abel, Sarah…and I’m not religious at all, but an ace name is an ace name!)

To top it all off, I’m a huge fan of Joan. And Bruce. This decision shall be a difficult one~! Luckily, I have a few years to mull it over.

Charlotte Vera Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 6:10 pm

Great blog post! We only have one kid so far, but we do plan to go by a theme of sorts: all of our children will have three given names, with the second middle name for girls ending in a variation of “ine” and the second middle name for boys ending in “us”. For example, our daughter’s name is Roseanna Ruth Adeline, and if she’d been a boy, she would have been Cedric Charles Marcus. (We also don’t want any of our kids’ first names to end with the same sound, although I don’t know if that can properly be considered a theme.)

PDXLibrarian Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 6:34 pm

My parents used the theme of initials spelling a word and picked out the initials before the name. Definitely a category # subtle and one that gives me something interesting to tell my friends.

babynamesrule Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Love this article! Never considered the many ways you can have a cohesive flow for sibling names. My family just kind of picked whatever they liked.

violetsmom Says:

March 10th, 2010 at 9:51 pm

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have a daughter named Violet, so I’ve been thinking about more names that end in “et”. I love Scarlett and Juliet for girls, and Everett and Elliot for boys. So unless I plan on have more that 5 kids (I DEFINITELY DON’T) I would say I’m pretty safe.

British American Says:

March 11th, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Great post. I do like it when families have a subtle theme or just similar styles going on with siblings.

My children both have “old people names”. When looking for my son’s name, I did think “Well, his older sister has a grandma name, so he’ll need an old-man name.” Somewhat to ‘match’ and just that that fits my tastes.

Noticing names of the preschool children around me, I really like the set Flora & Leo. :) Another set I like are Ruby (big sister) and Cora & Leo (younger twins).

I know sisters who both have ‘nature names’ starting with and ending with A. They’re similar sounding, so it would be tough to name a 3rd daughter, if the family had one.

I know of another family with 3 kids. The first two have one-syllable old-fashioned, classic, traditional names, both beginning with the same letter. The third child is a girl named Piper, so they branched out from their pattern / style there for something else that they liked.

Another family likes the -ee sound ending for girls, so their two daughters have names that fit that pattern.

sponsor Says:

March 11th, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Oh! This is great! Thank you for countering a few
misunderstandings I had read on this recently.

Dove14 Says:

March 12th, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I love subtle naming patterns! Obvious ones, not so much.

My mom and I both have L- names, but my married name starts with L- too, so I decided to incorporate an L into all my girl’s names somewhere or another. That is, if I ever have any girls! :)

We also plan on trying to work a nature name (literal or by meaning alone) into every child’s name. So far we like enough that it shouldn’t be a problem!

Andre Says:

March 12th, 2010 at 10:30 pm

I’d give Alexis to my son, then Sasha to my 2nd son, then Xano to my 3rd son.

They’re all varients of the name Alexander :)

Deedee Says:

March 17th, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Wow! I love names and found the information and comments interesting. I agree that your taste in names changes! I have been making lists of childrens names since I was a kid, and have named five children of my own.
Keith Emmett, Jeffrey John, Bethany Marie,
Chase Alexander, and Aislyn Nicole.
Does anyone see a pattern there? Possibly a rythm one, but they are just names I liked at the time. The first two have middle names after their grandfathers. I used Bethany because I have always loved the name Beth, but it was too short and I didn’t like Elizabeth because of too many nicknames. Chase Alexander came to me in a dream, and Aislyn is a variant of the Irish Aislin, which means, “Our Dream”. I wasn’t using any particulary pattern, but I think they go well together.

Stephanie Says:

March 26th, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Both of my daughters have old-fashioned names with short and spunky nicknames. I didn’t notice this until after they were born, but their names unintentionally follow a theme. Both daughters share their names with a main character in a series of children’s literature. Their names also contain the same number of letters and their names end with the same letters they begin with (although a different letter per girl), and both names have an “el” in them. I wouldn’t continue every single one of those themes, but it might be nice to continue the literature theme or the “el’ theme. My taste runs to the old-fashioned names, so that’s what I’d choose regardless.

Thank You to Nameberry Says:

March 27th, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[...] you very much to Pamela of Nameberry for posting SIBLING NAMES: Don’t Commit Before You Read This! to the Nameberry Blog just a few days [...]

LC Says:

March 28th, 2010 at 12:06 am

Stephanie: please tell me! what are your kids names!!!!
I’ve always loves the names Samantha, Cassandra and Savannah. does any one think that these seem to rhyme?

Sachiko Says:

March 29th, 2010 at 11:36 pm

The problem is, most of us don’t pick up on the name thing until after we’ve named our first kid and look around and realize,

“Hey, I thought Emily/Jayden was so unique! You mean that’s been done? Wha?”

Or, as with us, we consitently name our children (6 so far) after family members. But the family members don’t have names that go together. Ours run the gamut from William to Sentaro to LouJean.

Which means, yes, it’s a matched set–they ALL honor beloved relatives. But it ends up sounding like English royalty and Japanese tourists visit rural Wyoming.

Most of our children have such unique/international names, actually, that what raises people’s eyebrows is our firstborn’s name: William.

What? We didn’t know how weird we’d end up being when we named him! Oh, well.

RachelHolly Says:

April 15th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

My mother and her sisters are Lorraine, Loretta and Lorna. There brother is Andy. :P

CassieCake Says:

May 28th, 2010 at 1:39 am

I always said if I had twin girls I would name them Sage and Sophia, they both have the same meaning and of course they both start with “S.” I don’t think that’s too original though.

I don’t really care about matching my kids names, in fact I try not to have any links in my choices.

Sonnet, Esmee, Harper.
Leo, Joel, Greyson

Ellabeth Says:

June 22nd, 2010 at 2:39 am

I prefer stylistically similar names when it comes to sib sets. I love a lot of frilly, romantic, bordering on old-lady girls names (Elanora, Cordelia, Aurora) and it would be bizarre to pair that with little brother Jaxson or Ryker.

But I don’t know what boys’ names go with my frilly girls! My favourite boys name has always been Alexander, and I also like Jacob, Dominic, Xavier… quite strong, classic, masculine names, I suppose. I guess that would be my stylistic trend! Frilly girls and strong classic boys :D

Carie Says:

July 5th, 2010 at 8:51 am

We only have one child right now but are hoping to get pregnant later this year. His name is Zachary Samuel. Both of his names came from his father’s side so for the next one we are going to take names from my side to keep the theme of naming after family members. I am also going to look at keeping the same amount of syllables, Zachary Samuel is 5 so hopefully I can find names I like to have 5 for the next child!

Heather Says:

August 28th, 2010 at 7:42 am

Hysterical, good advice.

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